Our Father Who Art In Facebook, Hallowed Be Thy Feleb!
Thy Lily-Jack Jokes, Thy Will Be Done On Facebook As He Does Them Live.
Give Us This Day, All The Likes We Need And Forgive Us For Being Blind With Free Mode. As We Forgive Those Who Don’t Like And Comment On Our Statuses.
And Lead Us Not Into Unfriending Them, But Deliver Us From Blompots. For Thy Is Their Accounts, Their Money And Phones.
Forever And Ever, AMEN!!!
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You’ve A Boyfriend That You’re Always Proud Of, But You’re Always On Free Mode;
What’s His Job Kantsi???
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Your girlfriend wants u to meet her family😐
–
When u get there…The elder sister is your ex-girlfriend😯
–
The younger brother is the boy u were fighting with over a girl😤
–
Her dad is the doctor who advice u to stop coming with girls for abortion😩
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And finally the mother is a sugar mommy who just bought u the car🚗 u are currently using😨
–
What will u do?
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Stop pronouncing God as guard…
That’s why ur prayers don’t get answered
they go stra8 to security companies.
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VERY INTERESTING TRUE LIFE
STORY.
A man was joking with his
son, that tomorrow i will have a
car, the son just laugh and said
where will you get the money
from? Is it not just now we
drank garri tea without sugar(no
money to buy sugar)
The man said, but God can do it in a
seconds. The son said it is impossible, this is 8:00 pm in the night, then tell me will you steal it?
The man was silent… In the next morning, The man and His son heard a knock on their door.
This man went and check, he saw a man with JEEP. This man asked who are you looking for please. The man reply it is you.
“And it happens to be his old
time school mate who is base in
London, and just came back to
the village for a season holiday.”
The visitor said:
“i came home yesterday and i brought this JEEP for you. Take the key, this JEEP is
yours. You once helped me when
we were in school, you lend me
your clothes when we go out and
give me food when I’m hungry.
I’m now a Rich man. Take this
Car, You will see $50,000 US Dollar in
the boot “. The man and his son
burst into tears and hugged the
rich friend. Now, I pray that every
impossibility in your life will be
made possible.
…those that say you will not succeed, in their front God will bless you!!
Please don’t ignore this prayers.
Like| Share & Type Amen to claim this prayer
tonight
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Kenny is an engineer that can’t find a job so he opens a
clinic and puts a sign outside ‘GET TREATMENT
FOR R50 – IF NOT CURED YOU GET BACK R200 A
lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn
R150 and goes to the clinic… Lawyer: “I have
lost my sense of taste”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in
patient’s mouth” Lawyer: “Urgh..this is paraffin”
Kenny : “Congrats, your sense of taste is
restored. Give me R50” The annoyed lawyer goes
back after a few days to recover his money…
Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot
remember anything”
Kenny : “Nurse, bring
medicine from box no.22 and put 3 drops in his
mouth” Lawyer (annoyed): “This is paraffin. You
gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”
Kenny : “Congrats. You got your memory
back. Give me R50” The fuming lawyer pays him,
and then comes back a week later determined to
get back R200.
Lawyer: “My eye sight has become
very weak”
Kenny: “Well, I don’t have any
medicine for that, so take this R200” Lawyer
(staring at the note): “But this is R50, not R200”
Kenny : “Congrats, your eyesight is restored.
Give me R50”
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Apparently there are disagreements of Zuma’s retirement package. They offered him $800,000 but he refused saying that he wants something with a million in it.
So they said how about half a million? He agreed!!
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Most guys will intentionally not put chairs in their rooms so that when a girl visits,she will have no other choice but to sit on the bed.These guys are called *Ministers of Strategic planning and Bedmatic affairs*
I just got fired for being their president
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*Good morning*
Moses did not contest for position of prime minister In Egypt. Mary didn’t even pray to be the mother of Jesus and Peter didn’t invite Jesus into his boat. But divine favour, mercy and grace of God located and found them all.
May divine favour meet you today in any aspect of your life, in Jesus name.
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DID YOU KNOW THE VIRUSES THAT KILL MARRIAGES?
· Laziness kills marriage
· Suspicion kills marriage
· Lack of trust kills marriage
· Lack of mutual respect kills marriage
· Unforgiveness kills marriage (Forgiveness is not optional but mandatory)
· Arguments kill marriage
· Keeping secrets from your spouse kills marriage
· Every form of infidelity kills marriage (financial, emotional, psychological, material, etc)
· Poor communication kills marriage
. Lies easily kill marriage, (be sincere to your spouse in every aspect).
· Relating more with your parents than your spouse kills marriage
· Nagging kills marriage
· Too much talk and careless talk kills marriage
· Spending less or little time with your spouse kills marriage
· Being too independent minded kills marriage
· Love for party, money and spending/partying kills marriage
· Exposing the inadequacies of your spouse to your parents or siblings or friends kills marriage
· Not being steadfast/fervent in the spirit kills not only marriage but your life
· Spurning correction and reprimand kills marriage.
· Always wearing a sad face and being moody kills marriage.
· FEMINISM ADVOCACY kills marriage.
· Uncontrolled or hot temperament kills marriage.
· Not understanding your role and position in marriage as instituted by God kills marriage.
· Not being sensitive to the spiritual, emotional and physical needs of your spouse kills marriage
· When anything threatens the position/security of a wife, her reaction(s) will be detrimental to her marriage.
· Lack of knowledge of the Word of God kills marriage.
Please, save a marriage today by sharing this.
May God bring healing to every troubled home and family.
Amen.
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Nyaa gambled with all his university money at the casino before even the end of the first term ,
He calls his father at home. “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing into! They actually have a program here in school that will teach our dog, phezukwakhe, how to talk!”
“That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Phezukwakhe (the dog) into the program?”
Nyaa smiling said, “Just send him down here with R15 000. “I’ll get him into the course dad.”
So, his father sends the dog and R15000. About two weeks to the end of the first term, Nyaa gambled and ran out of money again
His father called
“So how’s Phezukwakhe doing son?” his father asks.
“Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this, they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”
“Read!?” says his father, “No kidding! I’ll love Phekwakhe to read too!”
Nyaa smiling said, “That will be no problem dad. Just send R40000, I’ll get him into the class.”
The money promptly arrives. But Nyaa then had a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he killed the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
“Where’s Phezukwakhe? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”
“Dad,” Nyaa says, “I have bad news. Yesterday morning, just before we wanted to drive home, Phezukwakhe was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading a Newspaper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, “So, is your daddy still sleeping around with that woman who lives in town?”
The father exclaimed, “I hope you killed that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!
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I have a proposal:
In 2018 when its time to kiss the bride at weddings, all men must make a queue to kiss her.
People should learn to share…
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When she thought you are romantic by helping her
while cooking kant he is making sure u dnt waste his braaipack
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Witchcraft is when yr manhood decide to
erect in a class for no reason and
your teacher comes in and point you
to stand up and clean the board!!!
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Boy: It’s only six days to go.
Girl: Yeahhhhh!!! nd mmmmmh I can’t wait for that day.
Boy: Me too babe nd I just hope Liverpool beats FC Porto.
Girl: Tsek ….inja what about Valentine.
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The most beautiful people
in the world are not those
with attractive faces or skinny body,
but those who know
how to respect the beauty of others.
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