Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is🍑. It’s a beaver, but I think grandma’s is dead because it’s tongue is hanging out
Loading views...
Thami was discharged from a mental hospital🏨.He was chained🔗 by his mental doctors➕. He was taken home by an ambulance🚑.
With confidence he claimed that he knew his house🏡.
At a big house next to a tree🌲 he saw 2 kids👬 wearing uniform🎓, he shouted and said
“Those are my kids, they going to school!”
Suddenly a woman👧 came out of that house then he shouted again saying
“That’s my wife, she is late for work!”
The doctors were convinced and as they were about to remove the chains🔗 off his hands, a man👦 came out of that same house🏡 then he shouted one more time saying
“Hey that’s me going to work!!”
Loading views...
Me : Bro I Got Two Bad News For You…
Him : Combine Them…
Me : Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On Both Of Us…
Loading views...
If u have failed grade 11,
dont worry u can still go to grade 12
during break time everyday
Loading views...
Ultimate Thought Of William Sexfear For All Beautiful Girls.
“Be With Someone Who Spoils Your Lipstick Not Your Eyeliner.
Loading views...
Newtons Laws On Love – Worth Mentioned
Universal Law: “Love Can Never Be Created Nor Be Destroyed, It Can Be Transfer Only From One GF To Other”
1st Law: “A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love Until Any External Agent (Her Bro, Her Father) Comes Into Play & Breaks The Leg Of Boy”
2nd Law: “The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards Boy Is Directly Proportional Toinstantaneous Bank Balance Of Boy And Discretion Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Dicrement In Bank Balance”
3rd Law: “The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal & Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping”
Loading views...
Two old couples got together to reminiscent about the old times and laugh about life. One of the gentlemen, Harold, started raving about this great restaurant he and his wife visited not too long ago. “Really?” The other old man asked. “What was the name of this place?” Harold thought for a second before asking, “what do you call those flowers that smell really good?”
“Which ones?” The other guy asked. “Daisy?”
“No, that’s not it.” “Tulip?”
“No, that doesn’t sound right either.” “Rose?”
“Yes!” Harold snapped his fingers. “That’s it!” Harold turns to his wife and asked, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?”
Loading views...
A boy said to his father
“I saw a girl and I want to marry her. She is so beautiful and she has gorgeous eyes.”
The father answered his son
“Of course son, let’s ask for her hand in marriage.”
When the father saw the girl, he admired
her beauty and he told his son, “You don’t deserve this girl, she needs someone who has experience in life and she can depend on, someone like me.”
The boy was surprised by the attitude of his father and he told him,
“She will marry me, not you.”
They started to fight and finally they decided both to go to the police station to solve their problem.
When they told their story to the police officer, he told them:
“Bring the girl so we can ask her about her opinion about this.” When the officer saw the beauty of the girl he said to the boy and his father,
“You both don’t deserve her, she needs someone who has prestige like me.”
The 3 men started a fight and
decided to go to the minister to solve their problem.
When the minister saw the girl, he said,
“She deserves to be married to a minister like me.”
The prince heard about their problem and called them all to
help them solve it but when he saw the girl he said,
“This girl will marry me.”
All the 5 men started
to fight.
Finally, the girl said,
“I have the solution! I will start to run and whoever catches me first, he will be my husband.”
When she started to run, the boy,
his father, the police officer,
the minister and the prince started to run to catch her.
Suddenly the 5 men fell into a
deep hole.
The girl looked to them from the top and she said
“Did you know Who am I? I am the Temporal World!!!
People want to run to catch me, they are racing to have me.
By doing that, they forget their God,
until they end up in their grave and won’t have me….”
Moral lesson!!!
Don’t forget God because he
didn’t forget to wake you up
today.
If you’re grateful stop and thank God by typing
“Thank You God”
Loading views...
Fake Friends will buy
you alcohol and keep
job opportunities for
themselves .chose
wisely ‘D
Loading views...
hugging a tall person
feels like placing
Tupperware
on top of the fridge
Loading views...
Wife asked: What are u doing?
Husband: Am Killing mosquitoes?
Wife: How many did u kill?
Husband: Total 5. Two females, 3 males.
Wife: How do u know their genders?
Husband: 2 were near my wallet and 3 near the beer bottle
Loading views...
Jealousy is when you see dogs having sex and
you start throwing stones at them.
Are they in your room???😳, Or is any of them your ex???
Loading views...
A blonde was so upset about everyone always making fun of her being blonde that she decided to hang herself. A little while later, a couple of guys walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. “What are you doing?” They ask her. “I’m hanging myself.” She said. The men were confused. Then one of them said, “If you’re trying to hang yourself, you’re supposed to put the rope around your neck.“Duh,” she said. “I tried that, but I couldn’t breath.”
Loading views...
My girlfriend just said to me, “Did you know, butterflies
only live for two days?” I said, “Honey, I think that’s a myth.”
She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”
.
As I boarded the plane I nervously said to the stewardess, “How often do aeroplanes crash?”She replied, “Generally, only once.”
Loading views...
Don’t borrow money and start acting like a
drunkard when it’s time to pay it back
Loading views...
She was my crush until I asked her about school and she said:
2017 I am at matric & I pass matriculated
Loading views...
