A Zulu man went to an electronic
shop.
He asked the shopkeeper; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people .
Zulu man again came the next day after
cutting his beard.
He asked; What is the price of this
television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people.
The next day Zulu man came with a
different face and asked; What is the
price of this television?
The shopkeeper replied; We don’t sell
our products to the Zulu people
Zulu man got irritated and asked the
shopkeeper; How do you recognise
me everytime?
The shopkeeper replied; Because this
is not a television. It is a microwave
oven.
One word for Zulu man
I drops my girl at home & just puts hand on the wall by the gate for support, leans
towards her;
Me: Can I kiss you?
Her: Not now, I’m at home.
Me: Please.
Her: No
Me: You were too sweet in bed today.
Her: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I could not believe we had foUr rounds.
Me: Let me kiss you good night.
Her: Someone may be watching,they still think I’m a virgin at home.This goes on
for ten minutes,
– then her brother appears at the gate and says “Dad says whether you kiss
him or not its your decision,but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button because everyone at home is listening to your conversation
While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child’s hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father…..with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’ The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions…….sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.The next day that man committed suicide. . .Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life….. Things are to be used and people are to be loved. But the problem in today’s world is that, People are used and things are loved…. In this year, let’s be careful to keep this thought in mind: Things are to be used, but People are to be loved. Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits they become character;Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. I’m glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. God bless you. If you don’t pass this on nothing bad will happen; if you do, you might change someones life. Do u know the relationship between your two eyes? They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together & sleep together. Even though they never see each other. Friendship should be just like that.
Does this make sense? If it does pliz Share with yo friends.
Yesterday my pressing iron stopped working so I went to my neighbour’s house and asked to borrow Thiers. They told me to come and use it in their house and I did.
Today my neighbour came and asked if I could borrow them the broom, so I asked them to come and use it in my house…
Tit for tat!!!!!!
There was a man who used to cross the border,from S A to Zim. Every month he would be on a bicycle carrying some riversand. The customs officer searched him thoughroughly and would find nothing in the sand. They would then give him a smile and let him pass. He did that for years and years still the officers wondered what was in the sand. After the man had stopped crossing the border he met one of the retired customs officer,and he asked tell me what were you up to carrying all that sand? The man smiled and said apparently I was smuggling bicycles!
1.REAL NAME: Rainbow Hlongwane
2.NICKNAME: chemical
3.SEX: MALE
4.NATIONALITY: South African
5.HOBBIES: collecting teeth from live
crocodiles,
catching bullets with bare hands.
6. MY RECORDS: fought with a lion and broke
its
neck, skinned a crocodile alive, and held
breathe
under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6
hours,5
minutes and 45 seconds.
7. GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS: went to heaven
to
charge my phone and the first man to land
on
sun.
8.SILLIEST THING I’VE DONE: swimming in a
tsunami and driving towards a volcano.
9.EMBARRASSING MOMENT: couldn’t kill 100
lions with one punch but though 99 died
and the
remaining one is now cripple.
10.PROUDEST MOMENT: a cobra died after
biting
me.
11.HARDEST MOMENT: jumped from an
aeroplane and landed safely on a cricket
pitch.
12.SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don’t like lying.
Conversation between a Teacher and Mbula….
.
Teacher : Assume your in the jungle and a lion is about to attack you,what will you do.?
Mbula : I will stop assuming.
Dear ladies,
The silence u keep when you find money in your husband’s pocket during laundry should be the same silence u should maintain when you find condom in his pocket!
An accident occurred, 11 persons were injured, 14 died. So the Minister of Health promised to offer R50,000 to the injured and R6million to the dead for their funeral. One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were… One of the dead shouted, “Bro, go back to your place, do not bring confusion here, they have counted us already!”
IF I WAS THE FOUNDER OF FACEBOOK
• No Under 15’s.
• No More Than 5 Posts A Day.
• Ugly Chicks Upload their Pics Once A
Month.
• No People Over the Age Of 50.
• I Read Your Inboxes.
• A Chick Who Gets Less than 10 Likes Will
Be
Banned For 3 weeks.
• No Nude Pics.
• No Texting When You In The Toilet
or When You’re Eating.
• You Wear Your Facebook Uniform
Before Logging In.
• Strictly No Dating on facebook.
• After 10 We all Log Out (Closing
Gates).
• You bath Before You Post.
• You Need To Have At Least 20
foreign Friends On Your Facebook.
• You’re Not Allowed To Have More
Than 500 Friends.
• You Need To Make An Affidavit To
Have An Account and A doctor’s Note .
• You can only login after church on
sundays, and if u didn’t go
to church, you can’t login.
• Wash Your Hands Before Signing
In.
• You fart your facebook automatically logs
out
