Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and dont pay at10tion,
theyll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, theyll be 3.

I hate it when i tell people that i will be back in 10minutes
and they keep calling me every 20 minutes…

Bae: Really?,U Just slept With My Friend?

Me: No Babe… We Did It While STANDING.

Imagine fighting with another woman over your
“Man”then boom there are five more to go and
thats when you will realise that
you have a tournament..
Stay strong my sister..

Church is the best place to go after a break up.
You’ll be in the crowd crying and everybody
will be thinking you caught the Holy Spirit

W A R N I N G
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Please share this important warning with all your circles if you truly care.
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Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last night evening, a friend of mine while drinking and driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away

Joke of the day: 😂😂😂😂😂

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.

Then the woman’s husband unexpectedly comes home.

She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.

The little Boy says:
“Dark in here.”

The Man says:
“Yes, it is.”

Boy:
;I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?”

Man:
;No, thanks.”

Boy:
;My dad’s outside, I’ll call him if you don’t buy it!”

Man:
“OK, how much?”

Boy: 😜😜😜
“$1,000.”

A few weeks later it happened again , and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.

Boy:
“Dark in here.”

Man:
;Yes, it is.”

Boy:
“I have soccer boots.”

The Man, remembering the last time, and asks the boy:
“How much?”

The Boy says 😜😜😜
“$5,000.”

The Man says:
“Fine, I will buy them.”

A few days later, the Father says to the boy:
“Grab your ball and boots,
let’s go outside and have a game.”

The Boy says:
“I can’t, I sold them for $ 6,000.”

The Father says:😳😳😳😳😳
“That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost.

I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your “SINS.”

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The Boy says:
“Dark in here.”
😜😜😜😜😜

The Priest says:
“Don’t start that shit again!”
😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈😜💥🎈
THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR FATHER’S HOUSE !

Girls Always Win Everything On Earth 😢!

E.G Give Her Her Money “correct”✔

But “Give Him Him Money” Is Wrong

A boy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; “I don’t want to spend the night with you!!
Everyone in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.
After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed ,right?
The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That’s too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, “I study law and I know how to make someone guilty

So I was in a taxi and there’s a
muscular, weird looking guy in
the back. His phone rang and
he answered, “Sure thing boss,
I’m in a taxi with him and I’ll
shoot him when he gets off
“…
No one got off the taxi, we’re
now at the Taxi driver’s home

The chances of a lady getting a job in
Africa do not depend on her academic
qualifications or working experience……
they depend on size and shape of her
buttocks

Girl:I didn’t catch your name.
Me:I didn’t throw it

A guy was on a bus and his phone rang. It
was his wife calling he wanted to show off
so he decided to put his phone on
loudspeaker and answered..Him: Hi
sweetheart miss me already baby?.Wife:
Your Shitt! Miss who?
You ate the baby’s youghurt and ran away
you pig

Rainbow came back home & found his wife
crying
Rainbow:What’s wrong dear?
Wife:Your son called me a bitch
Rainbow:Mxm I’m gonna kill that son of a
bitch

I told my dad that I won scholarship to study medicine in Spain he was so happy that he ordered MY MUM to slaughter two chicken’sfor celebration we popped champagne now am thinking of how to tell him it is April fool after eating the chickens
.
please advice me

Weekend l attended a birthday party- with a gathering of abt 30 people!! I sat on the front row seat….then a lady started sharing food. She started from the back and unfortunately, it didn’t reach us at the front. When her friends started sharing drinks, they started from the front but unfortunately I had already changed my seat to the back….!!! Again the drink didn’t reach me. I was so furious and I stood up to take my leave but then I saw three ladies each with a big bowl. This time, I tried to be wise by sitting at the middle. . To my uttermost surprise, one of the ladies started sharing from the front…and the second lady started distributing from the back. It was turkey meat…. When it got to the middle where I was seated it got finished again. Feeling so frustrated, I bent my head, not looking at any face…but then the third lady tapped me and stretched her bowl that I should pick somethng frm inside.. I stretched my hand… Guess what was in the bowl..?
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Toothpicks!!!