I saw someone withdraw cash and then left the ATM without counting the money……
South Africans we are losing our culture now

what is happiness ….
happiness is when ur ex is dating some1 u can draw wit ur left hand

I want to know that New Company called “Not Yet working”
it must be a good paying one because lot of people are working there

I need your advice?.
.
Last night my side chick called me and asked
me to come over her place for a night, …well
i didn’t hesitate since i had days without
seeing her, ..as i was on my way she asked
me to buy a 2kg of mixed portion which i
did, .i got there around 19:00 then she
immediately took out 4 pieces from the
braaipack and started cooking, ..i was so
excited thinking meaning 2 pieces is for me
and the other 2 is for hers since i was also
hungry, ..we then sat at a couch patiently
waiting for the food to be cooked, …while
we were still waiting she received a call
from her baby daddy telling her his on his
way, .i was so angry and disappointed as
she asked me to leave,but as a gentleman
that i am i didn’t start a fight or anything of
sort, .i just stood up and went straight to
the fridge and took out the remaining half
of the braaipack then went to the stove and
pick up those 4 pieces in the pot and drank
the soup then left, .. so she’s now not taking
my calls No reply to my text and this silence
is eating me inside!.
.
Was i wrong?

A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home
and found her bathing. since he was blind, she
let him in. After bathing, she came out naked
with her legs spread and started shaving in front
of him and tried to make a conversation by
asking him, brother John, what brings you here?
Is everything OK at home? He replied, yes o, very
fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye
surgery and I can see very clearly now

MUMMY! MUMMY!!!
little Nyaaa rushed to his mother and told her excitedly, “Mummy, Mummy! Come quickly! There is a strange man playing with the house maid in her room! And they are both naked”
His mother stood up in anger, “In my house?! Is this girl crazy?! God! If Nyaa is saying the truth, I’m going to kill this girl today!”
She stormed down the hall to confront the maid but when she got to the door, Nyaa, who had been trying to play a joke on his mum screamed with glee, ”
.
AprilFools Mum! It’s only daddy playing with the housemaid !”

A researcher from the University of Oxford discovered that a woman speaks out 7000 words a day whilst a man speaks out 2000 words. So, if your wife starts shouting at yu just keep quiet, she is aiming to reach her daily word target.

An Aeroplane cleaner was cleaning
the pilot’s cockpit when he saw a
book titled, “HOW TO FLY AN
AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS.
Volume 1

He opened the 1st page which said: “To start the engine,
press the red button..” He did
so, and the airplane engine
started.. He was happy and
opened the next page…: “To get the airplane moving, press the blue button..” He did so and the plane
started moving at an amazing
speed… He wanted to fly, so he
opened the 3rd page which said:
“To let airplane fly, please press
the green button..” He did so and the plane started to fly…He was excited…!!
After 20 minutes of
flying, he was satisfied and
wanted to land so he decided to
go to the 4th page… and page 4
says; “To be able to know how to land a plane, please purchase
Volume 2 at the nearest book shop! ”

He will be buried tomorrow.

never attempt anything without complete information

A woman who hide her phone from her husband is a cheat. The man who hide his phone from his wife is trying to protect the relationship.

Please do not argue with me, I am not feeling well

Teacher: Jack, Go to the map and find North America.

Jack: Here it is

Teacher: Good Jack. Now class who discovered North America?

Class: Jack.

If you borrowed R10 from your friend to
buy a lotto ticket and you won R10 million
•

How much would you give your friend

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes.Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, “Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?”Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!

God Created A Man And He Said “this is a perfect creation”
……
He Then Created A Woman and said “well this one will need to paint her face every morning”

Two years ago I asked my friend to get me
my crush’s number because I was too shy to ask her myself 🙁
.
They are getting married next weekend