*IF FORCING YOUR WIFE FOR SEX IS RAPE…*
*THEN FORCING YOUR HUSBAND FOR
SHOPPING IS ROBBERY*
_GUYS HOPE AM COMMUNICATING !!!

WITCHCRAFT is when your father sells his only piece of land and sent you abroad to study medicine, After 7 years you come back as a DJ.

_Dating a Doctor or a Nurse is not romantic at all,
when they look into your eyes instead of them seeing love,
they end up seeing symptoms of malaria or eye problems_*

I’m Having A Bad Day,My Dog Impregnated My Neighbour’s
Dog And Now They Want Me To Pay For Damages

Boss: Where were u born?
Frank: Malawi
Boss: ok, which part?
Frank: what do you mean by ’which part’? …
the Whole body was born in Malawi

Signs of a cheater:
When their phone has these emojis as constantly used:
💋😘😜😍🌹👍😂👀
but his chats are all empty and you did not recieve these emojis from him.
Wake up.

If you expect the world to be fair with you..
because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself.
That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you
because you didn’t eat him.

I was shocked when l saw my uncle wearing Earrings & l asked him: “Are you a gay uncle?. He replied and said, “I started wearing them the day my wife found them in my car, l said they are mine”

MY neighbour sells weed
Its a secret
That’s why I won’t tell anyone

Black Parents will always say they don’t
have money, until you are admitted to a
hospital.
Then you will see juice, KFC, Pizza
and some things that you have never
tasted before
Why mara

The farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that would take care of the many hens.
When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his job and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock
approached the young one and said: “Look, I know I’m old and that’s the reason why our owner brought you here.

But can you leave two hens for me?”

“What’s that old cock! I’m going to keep all of them,” said the young one.
“Just two,” insisted the old cock.
“I’ve told you. They’re all mine!” replied the young cock.
“Alright then! Let’s do this,” says the old cock. “We bet on a race around the poultry house. If I win, I’ll keep two
hens. If I lose, all hens are yours.”
The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing bird cannot win.
“Ok old cock, I agree,” he says.
The old cock looks at him and says: “Since my chances of winning are very small, let me have 5 metres advantage,” he asked.
The young cock does not even think twice about the request and agrees to the old cock’s conditions. The race starts and the young
cock shoots in chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep advantage, but is quickly losing ground.
The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the young cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife:
“I don’t understand! This is the fifth gay cock we bought this week. These gay birds have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old
cock, can you believe it?”

*Nothing beats experience*

his is why I don’t like abbreviations.

My neighbour, a sexy lady, texted me :
*i need your dic fo my ass,,,,,*

*me:* I quickly replied “but I don’t have condoms”
*lady:*”what condoms? I said I need your *dictionary for my assignment*.”

Eishhh

Madness is putting your girlfriend on your Whatsapp profile while other boys are putting her on bed. You need serious treatment.

I was In town this morning when
Japanese man approached me. ” please….
Can you take ” he said.” Handing me a
camera. As he stood against the wall
smiling.I got into a taxi an thought, “what
a nice guy”.

Don’t advertise your happiness on social
media.
Don’t advertise your happy marriage On
social media.
Don’t advertise your holidays on social
media.
Don’t advertise your kids achievements
on social media.
Don’t advertise your pregnancy on social
media.
Don’t advertise your expensive buys on
social media. (Car, house etc)
No one is going to be happy for you.
all the “nice” comments you get are just
fake.
you just attracting the evil eye on you &
your family.
you just attracting jealous people into
your life.
you don’t know who’s saving your
pictures & checking your updates.
you really need to Stop this as it is going
to ruin your life, family, marriage.
social media , if not used responsibly , can
be the devils eyes, ears & mouth, don’t fall
into the devils trap.
May God help us & save us from social media
disaster !!!

2 guys were swiming when a pregnant
woman drowned. They rushed 2 save her,
pulled her 2 safety. The 1st guy started
giving her breath by lip locking (mouth to
mouth). The 2nd guy took off the woman’s
pants and put his mouth on her private
parts! 1st man: “R you mad? W.T.F are you
doing?” 2nd guy: “Yeyi, you save the
mother and i save the child”