Remember back when you were a kid and you
thought your 25 year old unemployed cousin
wasn’t serious about life? Look at you now!😭😭😂

The only time where you’ll see a person
who has a gold/silver tooth closing their
mouth, is during a thunderstorm

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH VIRGIN A GIRL.
She was wearing a light Pinky Silky dress
more like to be transparent but i tried to
look hoping i will see something but i
couldn’t the breast well shaped and
tempting Hello as i great her while was
standing outside the door, HI Xigombe She
replied. Her voice was Like The voice of an
angel I called her in and as she walked
inside i was at the door so i could see her
back, everything was well packed.you know
what a dress can do, everything just went
wrong i could feel my trouser expanding. As
she looked back i just put my hand on the
pocket and bend backwardly not to be
embarrassed unfortunately she Has seen it
already she just smiled not saying a word. I
requested her to seat on the bed then she
requested at least a music, she said she
hated silence I decided to be romantic and
play music like Benny Mayengani songs i
downloaded them that very same day early
on. She told me to stop it and try something
deep, i didnt know that she want deep
house music when she said something
deep. Imagine with the girl you’ve been
wishing playing deep house while you are
only two in the room with that dim light,
hope you get it?Then came my stuff i started
her with some internationally deep house
music, We started listening to music having
some talks while seating on the bed,
complementing her. I could see that she is
enjoying the music she was moving that
head smoothly same pase with one leg. We
had some talks then around 10pm she was
tired of seating she asked if she can just
sleep. I agreed Then she moved back to the
wall as i was busy removing her shoes out. I
went straight to her laid close to her i
turned looked straight into her eyes then
we both stopped talking like we were
paused by a remote. I saw her taking a
tongue out wiping those lips and i told my
self that its about time be a man i moved
again very very close to her and the space
between was just some few inches now,
she didn’t say anything and no one was
talking by the time after some few seconds
of looking each other i decided to take
action, as i take my hand to her chin so that
i can bring her close then she called my
name and I was very scared that she want
to tell me to stop whatever am doing only to
find out that she want me to remove her
earrings. I started to remove them gentle so
and when i was on the last ear after
removing it my hand never come back i took
it slowly so to the back of her neck then try
to pull her closer and closer, she never said
anything but my brothers and sisters if the
way you’ve been concentrating on this story
was the way you concentrate when you
read the word of GOD(BIBLE)once in a blue
moon the world would have been a great
place to live.
Can I Get An Amen?.

Remember growing up saying “I want to
be a pilot”.
20 years later the only thing you do related
to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.

The way 2000 kiddies are getting
pregnant,condoms should be part
of stationery.

If you are asked to choose between Bill Gates’ money and World’s Peace, THEN
What will be the color of your Lamborghini?

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …
Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..
Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

IMAGINE YOU TAKING YOUR TALL GIRL TO THE ZOO,,
THEN GIRAFFE START CRUSHING ON HER
AYEYE!!!

1st patient: doctor iqolo lami is very painful. I came home early today, i could swear i heard a man’s voice 4m my house bt wen i entered it was only my wife. I searchd evrywher bt saw nothing. When i went to the balcony i saw a man downstairs ephuma eflatini runing very fast and stil dresing up! I took the fridge and threw it at him and i hurt my back. 20 mins later 2nd patient came with bruises all over his head: Doc, i was very late for an interview. I left the flat runing and stil butoning my trousers coz i was late when a fridge 4m nowhere hit me on the head, thats how i got to be like this. 15 mins later 3rd patient came in, with severe bruises all over his body, worse than the 1st patient: Doc, i was sitting in a fridge when someone threw it 4m da balcony from 5th floor, thats how i got hurt…

If I meet the shopkeeper in the neighborhood today, I’ll finish with him.
Last night, I went to buy condoms, he tells me it’s finished. This morning, when my wife went to buy bread, he told her to tell me that the condoms I was looking for are now available. What is the professional secret of a shopkeeper?

*If you have $2 and your wife has $98. The total money of the entire house is $2 (not $100).*

*If you understand this maths you will have peace in your home.*
*Are we clear?*

What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief (OT) & a Political Thief (PT) ?

1.The Ordinary Thief steals your Money, bag, watch, gold chain etc.
But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health & business !

2. The hilarious part is :
The Ordinary Thief will choose whom to rob. But, you yourself choose the Political Thief to rob you.

3. The most ironic one :
Police will chase and nab the Ordinary Thief. But, Police will look after and protect the Political Thief !
That’s the travesty cum irony of our current society!

And, we blindly say we are not blind !

I was in a job interview today (for a ‘Sales Post’) when the interviewing manager gave me his laptop and said “I want you to try and sell this to me”.So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my mobile and said “Bring it back here, right now”.I said “$200, and it’s yours”.

There’s some idiots who always reply no to every question
I ask on this page
Now tell me ” are you one of them “

Nothing is as painful than being phoned
by your crush telling you to check your wall
& respond but you can’t tell her you’re on
free mode