My Ex found me at Spar in morning and
said: Wow, You are looking good, are u still
alive? And I said no, I’m dead I just came
here to buy groceries then I’ll return to my
grave.
She is no longer talking to me.

Don’t be a boring
boyfriend my brother
Sometimes take her
phone and delete all
male contacts and
wait for a fight

I bought a Power Bank for a cheap price of R90 at the Chinese shop.
I was so happy until my phone started charging the Power bank..

I can’t wait to hate my daughter’s
boyfriend for nothing

I still cannot believe I was born without my permission
What if I wanted to be a mosquito??

Remember growing up saying “I want to
be a pilot”.
20 years later the only thing you do related
to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.

That moment when a short guy compliments u and say
your hair smells nice and u start wondering
which hair is he talking about

That awkward moment u realise u a walking in the wrong direction…
so you hit your pockets and pretend u forgot something

My girlfriend just texted me “Im coming by your
place,and when I get there I want you to make
me wet”
I got 5 buckets full of water….she’ll know me

Those of you that come to Facebook to correct people’s grammar you think you know engish neh?what is the past tense of bread?.

When I was a kid…

1.Pussy meant a cat.

2.Sex meant a gender.

3.B**ch was a female dog.

4.Dick was name of a cartoon film.

5.Bang was a sound.

6.Rubber was a nothing but an

eraser.

7.Balls meant a round toy.

8.Cock was a rooster.

9.Round was a circular shape.

10.Boot was a type of a shoe.

Growing up corrupted my mind. *sad*

My boss just e-mailed me, “Send me one of your funny jokes Jack.”

I replied, “I’m working at the moment, I will send you one later.”
He replied, “That was fantastic and really funny, send me another one.

They have parked their bags, went back to work after spending the weekend buying you alcohol, none of them is offering to take your CV with and submit just incase something comes up at their work place or to just edit your CV for you.
And you go around telling people how good your friends are??

You find two people in a happy relationship and yet
you still want to get between them. Are you a g-string?

That moment when a child hits you in front of her mom,
and you can’t do anything you just be like
” yeeeey wena nana yeeeey ”
with that fake smile wishing her mom wasn’t around