A teacher told his class that 2X + 2X= 4😐

Rich got up and said: “It’s a lie!!!”😑

The teacher got angry😠 and said: “I have been teaching for past five years, so i know what I’m saying!!!”😟😞

Rich also said: “I have also been in this class for seven years now!!

“My Pastor asked me how much I bought my iphone 7 for, and I said R2,000 instead of R10,000 , because I did not want him to shout and ask how much I give to God. Then he gave me R4000 to buy two for him and his wife.
The money is still with me since last sunday; I don’t know what to do .
Please advise me

After a few drinks i become very alert.
When i cross the road:
I look left and right for cars and bikes, look up for aeroplanes, look down for bombs, look back for kidnappers, hold my bag tight and watch the person beside me then walk zigzag to avoid bullets

5yrs old girl asked her mother: ‘ Mummy do all angels fly? Her mother replied; “Yes…. they do and why do you ask?” The girl said when you went to the saloon yesterday to make your hair, Daddy called our housemaid “My angel” Mummy will she fly? Mummy replied…. “Yes dear! She will fly back to her village tomorrow and she will never return again

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid

Husband: Well you dont’t remember, do you??
When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
Then you said:
– Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.

BREAKING NEWS!!!
A diesel tanker carrying 33,000 litres of diesel
this afternoon was at a very high speed along
bulawayo road when the driver spotted a motor bike
that was also at high speed coming towards him.
Meanwhile, the motor bike rider was carrying a
7 months pregnant woman who was just coming
back from chegutu Hospital.
To cut the story short, as they got closer to each
other the tanker driver looked closely and
identified the motorcycle rider to be his
childhood friend. They both slowed down,
stopped, hugged each other, spoke for a while
and continued their journey.

The lawyer hopes you get into trouble, the doctor hopes you fall sick, the police hopes you become a criminal, the teacher hopes you are born stupid, the coffin maker wants you dead, only the thief wishes you prosperity in life so that he can steal from you.
IT’S WORLD’S THIEVES DAY , Send to any thief you know. It came to me by mistake,don’t send it back to me..

Pls let me know if you can help – A friend of mine bought tickets to the Champions League final match .. the problem is that he completely forgot that its his wedding on the same day … coz he bought the tickets few months before fixing his wedding date …. Now he wants to know if anyone is interested in getting married….!

Nyaa was in love wit a cert girl bt neva had the
guts to tell her. One night around 11pm he gatherd
some courage and sent her a text saying, ‘I love
u, I wanna date u. Pls reply and tell me how u
feel’.
A few secs later he recieved a meseg alert on
his fon. He was so scared & tensed to open it
dat night so he decided not to check and reply until the
next morning when he’s less tensed. When he woke
up the nxt day he prayed seriously abt d msg for
gudnews, did his morning chores, brushd his
teeth…ate his brkfast, had his bath, dressed up
then climbed into bed n picked his fon to read d
msg.
This was d response he read:
“Dear customer you hav insufficient balance to
send dis msg. Please recharge your
account and try again.”

man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into Skebhe’s house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a Skebhe and his wife in bed.
.
He orders the Skebhe out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying Skebhe’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
.
While he’s in there, Skebhe whispers over to his wife:
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict.
Look at his clothes!
He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain… do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous.
If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!”
.
Skebhe’s wife responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck.
He was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too!..