Samsung E250 was once R1500, and I got patient I bought it R400. ..
Samsung S8 l’ll be patient for you too.

Sometimes you don’t need a goal in life,
you don’t need to know the big picture.
you just need to know what you’re going to do next!

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the State house, where the President lives.
The 1st from INDIA, the 2nd from CHINA & the 3rd from Zimbabwe.They go with State House official to examine the fence.
The Indian takes out a tape & did some measuring, works some figures “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will cost $9,000. ($4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my teamv& $1,000 profit for me)”.
The Chinese does some measuring & figuring, says,”I can do it for $7,000. ($3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my team & $1,000 profit for me)”.
The Zimbabwea did not even measure or figure out anything, but he walks around the State House & whispers “$27,000.” The official says, “You didn’t even measure how did you come up with such a high figure?” The Zimbabwean whispers “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, & $7,000 to hire the Chinese to do the job.”

Girls please stop trying to impress guys with
english
Boy:darling
Girl:hi baby
boy:how are you
girl:i am fun
boy:you are fun?!
girl:oops!sorry i meaning i am find
boy:eh,what you doing?
girl:the tv is washing me in Muvhango
boy:lol,k!who u with?
girl:my mother,my father and my parents
boy:yho!so when am i gonna see you? girl:ah
baby,but you is told me you are moneyless now
you wanna look me to the sea!
boy:lmao yoooh! What do you mean? girl:baby
laughing for who? Ah u see i make a stock of
laughing
boy:eh baby,I will call you coz ur texting is cripled
girl:ok baby,I am go waiting for ur missed
call,shap shap! lol
its better if you text in your own language

THOUGHT OF THE DAY*

There are many things we can learn from dogs like being loyal, protective, caring and loving unconditionally but we choose to learn one
thing …. Dog Style.

Why people? Why.

new army captain inspected the soldiers in their barracks. He noticed a female horse.
Captain: What’s the horse for?
Soldier: We use her if we feel an urge to have sex.
Captain: Ah, that’s good.

One night, the captain feels an urge, and the soldier brought the horse to his tent.

When the captain was done, he saw the soldier smiling outside his tent.
Captain: It’s so hard and high eish….how do you guys do it?
Soldier: We ride on the horse to the next town where the girls are.
Captain: 😛

You always check your man’s phone
but won’t check your child’s homework.
My sister close your eyes
let’s pray for satan to leave you alone.

*STUDENT OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM!*

I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM 100%! EACH ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT AND FUNNY TOO. THE TEACHER HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

*Q1: IN WHICH BATTLE DID NAPOLEON DIE?*

“`HIS LAST BATTLE.“`

*Q2: WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE SIGNED?*

“`AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.“`

*Q3: RIVER RAVI FLOWS IN WHICH STATE?*

“`LIQUID.“`

*Q4: WHAT IS THE MAIN REASON FOR DIVORCE?*

“`MARRIAGE.“`

*Q5: WHAT IS THE MAIN REASON FOR FAILURE?*

“`EXAMS.“`

*Q6: WHAT CAN YOU NEVER EAT FOR BREAKFAST?*

“`LUNCH & DINNER.“`

*Q7: WHAT LOOKS LIKE HALF AN APPLE?*

“`THE OTHER HALF.“`

*Q8: IF YOU THROW A RED STONE INTO THE BLUE SEA WHAT WILL IT BECOME?*

“`WET.“`

*Q9: HOW CAN A MAN GO EIGHT DAYS WITHOUT SLEEPING?*

“`NO PROBLEM, HE SLEEPS AT NIGHT.“`

*Q10: HOW CAN YOU LIFT AN ELEPHANT WITH ONE HAND?*

“`YOU WILL NEVER FIND AN ELEPHANT THAT HAS ONE HAND“`

*Q11: IF YOU HAD THREE APPLES AND FOUR ORANGES IN ONE HAND AND FOUR APPLES AND THREE ORANGES IN OTHER HAND, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE?*

“`VERY LARGE HANDS“`

*Q12: IF IT TOOK EIGHT MEN TEN HOURS TO BUILD A WALL, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOUR MEN TO BUILD IT?*

“`NO TIME AT ALL, THE WALL IS ALREADY BUILT“`

*Q13: HOW CAN YOU DROP A RAW EGG ONTO A CONCRETE FLOOR WITHOUT CRACKING IT?*

“`ANY WAY YOU WANT, CONCRETE FLOORS ARE VERY HARD TO CRACK.“`

*Spread some laughter, share the cheer. Let’s be happy, while we’re here!

Apart from Castle Lite & Facebook Lite 😊
.
Which other Beer 🍺 do you know?

Nowadays
Father 👨 2000
Mother 👩2001
Child 👶 2018

why it is difficult for a woman to leave
abusive relationship than broke guy

Me: How ar u dear
Her: I’m okay
Me: Hope u r having a cool night
Her: Yes
Me: what’s ur best colour
Her: Stop asking questions​ which makes no sense……..ask reasonable intellectual questions….OK
Me: How many moles of sulphuric acid is needed to neutralize 5ml of sodium carbonate and also to neutralize 5 volume of sulfatate
Her: My best colour is yellow…
And u??

A man takes his seat at a FIFA
world cup final.He looks to his left
& notices that there is a spare
seat betwen himself & the next
guy.
MAN: “who would ever miss the
FIFA world cup final?”
GUY: “that was my wife’s seat. We
have been to the last five WORLD
CUP finals together, but sadly she
passed away.”
MAN: “oh… that’s terrible, and
very sweet of you to have her here
symbolically by having a vacant
seat …but these are expensive
tickets; couldn’t you have brought
another family member, friend
orsomeone else with you?”
GUY: “no…they are all at her
funeral!
“MEN WILL BE MEN !!