I Remember telling people who were in a Titanic that its going to sink and no one was interested in listening to me.
I screamed and said “get out now” and no one got off the ship. I screamed my lungs out and said “for the fucken last time, get out of that ship right now guys”.And That’s was the last time i warned the victims before i was thrown out of the cinema for good.

Instead of “Who is your daddy” i accidentally asked “How is your daddy”. We ended up putting our clothes back on and discussed her fathers Cholesterol problem

Just imagine How The Ladies Who Dumped BILL GATE
When He Was Upcoming Would Feel Now ..
Ladies Be Careful Not To Make Similar Mistake With Me

A rat🐀 swallowed gold and the owner of the gold contracted a man to kill that rat🐀

When the rat hunter arrived to kill the rat, there were more than thousand rats bunched up and the one sitting by itself away from the park!!

He spotted and killed the one sitting by itself and to the owners suprise, it was the exact one that had swallowed the gold!!!
The amazed owner asked of the gold asked: ‘how did you know it was that rat??’
He replied very easy and very calm that ‘when idiots get rich they dont mix with others’

I hate it when people say morning instead of good morning, morning what? Morning glory, morning after pill morning sickness…what ?

whites: get out of my house!!!!
Blacks: 8!!
.
As simple as that

Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM
Confused,i asked him what he was doing
He said, “just checking my balance ”

Whenever i have a problem I just sing
Then i realize my voice is worse than my problem.😞😞
That gives me hope

That moment when you accept a friend request from an Indian dude😊..
then boom 100 friend requests from the entire Naidoo family

If 1 girlfriend can make you happy. Imagine having 10 girlfriends…

overdose happiness

BOSS:Do you believe in life after Death?

EMPLOYEE: “Certainly not sir! There ‘s no proof of it”, he replied.

BOSS : “Well, there is now.
After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,
He came here looking for you.”

EMPLOYEE: …………………..

The Impala was running like mad in Mana Pools.
Elephant asked: Why are you running?
Impala: They are arresting all Goats.
Elephant: But you are not a goat.
Impala : Without primary evidence in Zimbabwe I’ll never be able to prove it.
Elephant too started running

Don’t just tell me what people were saying about me.
Also tell me why they were so comfortable telling you