Her : how much do you love me
Me : l love you so much, l can’t measure
Her : no just tell me
Me : :okay, l am like a cell phone and you are
my sim card. I’m nothing without you
Her:wow that’s so romantic
Me : (said myself) Thanks God she doesn’t
know I’m a China phone, with FOUR sim
card……..:(

Break up with me but in a few hours later I’ll be in a five months relationship
with another woman, no stress

What type of car can your salary buy???
MINE: car-rot

Ladies, If you want to keep a man treat him like a new customer, if he cheats don’t fight or interrogate him, instead give him reasons to stay. And remember a customer is always right, do not quarrel with your man

Today I bought an i-pad, an i-pod & i-phone.
But being the thoughtful man that I am,
I thought I should get the wife something so I bought her an i-ron.

Tht moment whn a Zulu guy says: I’m Solly and u get confused
whether he’s apologizing or introducing himself

When Relationship Is In ICU
Her: Have A Good Day
Him: Dont Tell Me What To Do

That Awkward Moment When You Leave
The Store Without Buying Anything And
You Tell Yourself To Act Normal Because Ur Innocent..

My Neighbor Is Looking For His NIKE Shoes,
I Don’t Know Why My Heartbeat Increase Each Time I See Him…

There’s No Girl Who Cheats Like A Girl
Who Stays With Her Grandmother.

I thank God for bringing me to this world,
As for the Angel that directed me to Africa,
i have nothing to tell you till we meet

After my secondary school, I decided to go to a medical school. .At the entrance, we were asked to re-arrange the letter:- *PNEIS*. to form the name of an important body part which is most useful when active ..
Those who wrote spine are now professional doctors. While, those of us that wrote what you’re thinking are Facebook pages and whatsapp group admins

Apparently Natal Midlands were originally named Midrand,
but since we know the battle of “R”, Midlands it remained!!!

I think am old enough now… I think my parents should move out.
I need my space now. How do i ask them to move out??

(Pushing my son in his stroller)
beautiful lady: aww aren’t you adorable! how old are u?
Me: 30
Lady:I was talking to him, the bby..
Me:he doesn’t know how old I am
Lady walks away…. But why?

Beards don’t make you a real man….
Goats have beards too and all they do is mehh, mehh, mehh…