My ex girlfriend: Hey have a nice day…
.
.
Me: Don’t tell me what to do..

That moment when your girlfriend have stretch marks………
.there is no need to call her babie,
sweet or any other romantic name.
When calling her just be like ‘my sexy zebra’

how are you sexy zebra’s

This message can’t be viewed because
you are using a cheap cellphone…

*TODAY I DECIDED TO CAUSE TROUBLE!!!*
I went to a RESTAURANT and couldnt get a table. After seeing every table being occupied by couples, I took out my phone and made a very loud phone call, saying,
“My friend, your wife is here with another man just come and see”
Nine women DISAPPEARED!!!! And I got a table

A newly married husband saved
his wife’s number on his mobile
as “MY LIFE”.
After 1 year of marriage he
changed the number to “MY
WIFE”. After 2 years of marriage
he
changed the number to “HOME”.
After 5 years of marriage he
changed the number to “HITLER”.
After 10 years of marriage he
changed the number to “WRONG
NUMBER”.
What name do you think he will
save the wife’s number with
after 15years…….?

Urgently need a Mercedes Benz S class 2015 model..mileage not more than 15,000km.. ranging between R150 000 – R200 000. It shld have 17 inch rims..tinted windows..Any color with Sunroof. Please send the picture as soon as possible I wanna change my profile pic.

GUYS i think it’s about time i quit Facebook..😓
.
Motho ko inbox are “Hi Kenny please send me your pigs

True love is when you know you’re broke
but you know your bae deserves better .
So you help her find a sugar daddy to bless her

Men who give their women their ATM cards
and Payslips with their whole salaries,
have a special corner in Heaven with
air conditioners and Free WiFi

When a girl dumps you for no reason
You’ll even take your father’s phone and text her like..
_
“Are you sure you are done with my son?”

When you buy a cellphone from an Indian shop,
then when you switch it off it says “Goodbye My Friend”

Beautiful Girls Get 1k likes on Facebook And
Ugly Girls get Masters Degrees in real Life.

Hi, I am currently in high school, doing Grd 12.
I applied at UJ fortunate enough i got a letter that says
i was admitted,
so should i quit school and Go There to study or what?

All vendas were born cute it’s just that their
language squeeze their face

When Your Friend Posts, ” All My Friends Are Snakes”
So You Just standing There wondering If O Mokopa Or Cobra

AS i Was In Court Couple Minutes Ago …. The Magistrate Shouted ” Order, Order”
And I Resonded : ” Mae, Coke , Dinkilana Le Dikwae ” Then Boom Now They Locked Me In A Dark Room… Hopefully My Order will Be Here Soon