Then we have those girls that will rip off your shirt during foreplay coz they saw it on a movie and think it’s sexy & freaky.
•°•
Do that to me my sister you will ewallet me money💰 for a new shirt before you leave

I regret introducing my mom to Candy Crush.
She didn’t cook last night.

I was dreaming urinating in th the toilet,
as I woke up I found my blankets wet ,
I don’t know who the hell poured water on my bed!!! M so pissed

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR.
When someone dies, the relatives cry.
But when he rises from death, they run away.

So are we gonn’ ignore the fact that Mandela changed his dp on that money

Doctor told me not to lift heavy things,
I sit down when I pee

I want to date a girl who’s been through the worst ..
lied to…heart broken
…literally broken to pieces so I cn finish her off

DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW YOU GET UPSET
WEN YOUR BOYFRIEND ONLY GIVES YOU ONE ROUND ??

Dating two short girls 👭 at the same time is not cheating.
Look at it ½ + ½ = 1

PURE WITCHCRAFT IS WHEN YOUR PARTNER DUMPS U IN AN AREA THAT HAS A SIGN THAT SAYS ‘NO DUMPING’

The 8 lies of girls
-I am a virgin.
-I don’t eat to much.
-I have never had an abortion.
-I don’t like too much sex.
-I don’t have a boyfriend.
-I am in bad period.
-He is only my friend.
-I don’t go out at night.

The 6 lies of boys
-I love you.
-You are my only girlfriend.
-I can die for you.
-Among all the other girls you are the best.
-Don’t worry i will make you to feel at ease.
-If you are pregnant i will take care of everything.
send this to all the liars like you and please don’t send it to me cox I received it by mistake

Dear girlfriend!!!
Next time I ask you “how was your day?”,
Don’t give me “it was good” typpa shit.
I mean tell me everything. I want a detailed explanation!!

Gents If a woman ever pulls a knife out on
you during an argument, pull out some
bread, butter and cheese..her instincts will
kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich..

Ladies….
If you have pimples please dont put makeup ontop of those pimples……
Do you know why?????
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Because you look like magnum ice cream

A CCTV footage doesn’t scare me✋
I’ve denied my own fingerprints before

To be ugly is really a problem, you shoot 40 pics you delete 35
you edit 5 you end up posting 1.