Nothing confuses like a pregnant lady.
when she’s eating soil, I wonder if she’s
trying to organize a playground for the
baby or what.

An old guy said to his girlfriend, “I had a dream last night, someone was cutting my head off”. 😂 😂 😂
.
The girlfriend replied, “So, they decided to cut off your head instead of your foreskin ?.

Where I’m from, when you kill a mosquito in the night,
the next morning,
you’ll hear that an old woman slept and didn’t wake up.

Those People who keep saying private life is a happy life,
just know that they’re dating an ugly bae.

Imagine being married to a white person…
coming back home from a long day at work to speak english

ladies be like:
I love the woman I’m becoming

after buying One Pair of Heels!

They way some girls love Guys with cars,
they can tell which car you Drive from the
sound of your keys in your pocket…

A friend said to me “I really want to go to medical school, but it takes at least seven years–and I’ll be 50 in seven years!”
I said “And how old will you be in 7 years if you don’t go?”🤷🏿
It’s never too late to start chasing your dreams.

When I was growing up, I used to think
people with E-mails are Rich!!

13 Year old girls be like “I need a man who….”
Lol😂😂😂 No No No, Baby girl, the only man in your life should be
SpongeBob SquarePants now go finish your Homework.

Grade 1 : I wanna be a Doctor
Grade 7 : I wanna be a Pilot
After grade 12 : Please download my tracks guys support local artists

Her : Unlock Ur Phone
Me : So U Want Us To Break Up Just Like That

The day i decided to quit Instagram was the day
I realised this app is for people who bath everyday