No secret is safe when a woman’s instinct
kicks in. She’ll discover things better than a
police agent so always be honest to your
woman because it’s better to be safe than
sorry.

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry.
Just remove the battery from the clock and
enjoy life….

If you are Dreaming Your Self driving a BMW Car.
You wake up in the Morning and nothing Happens….
but When you are Dreaming Your Self
Urinating the dream come true

That moment when you bought chips with ur last cents,
then you open your chips and you see
your friends throwing away their chappies

Dear guys Please motivate your “HEY” in your inbox.
Eg “Hey I was wondering if I could get your number I wanna E-wallet you”
Don’t let your “HEY” be naked….Thank me later.

I don’t care if you look better than my girlfriend,
the fact is,I don’t love you..

Girl:I am leaving you cuz u
focus too
much on football…
Boy:Are you leaving on loan or full
transfer…

that Priceless momrnt your parents thinks that your friends are Bad influence to you, not knoeing kur u are the bad influencer!

Date the guy, give him your time
Mnyobise a nyee
Don’t ask any money from him.
Buy him airtime when he’s broke.
Take him out, buy him gifts he deserve the
best.
Don’t ask him about girls, just love him the
way he is, le ha feba love him for that.
On weekends give him some cash to go
out with his friends a loja monate.
If he was trash then, he will change
because of the love you’ll be giving him.
Don’t cheat on him,men are not strong like
you ladies
Appreciate him and he will become the
man you want.

Before King Ahmed of Ottoman went to war,
he locked his wife (the beautiful Queen) in a
private room and gave the key to his best
friend Mousa and said: “If I’m not back in
four days, open the room and she’s yours …
”
He climbed on his horse and gallops off
towards the battlefield. Half an hour later,
the King noticed a cloud of dust behind him.
He stopped and saw his friend galloping
very fast towards him.
“What’s wrong ?” Asked the King. Out of
breath, his friend Mousa responded: “You
gave me the wrong key”
What????
can you imagine
He didn’t even wait for the said 4days
before trying the keys
Be careful, “that’s what some friends are
for”

From today onwards we give fat people wrong direction
so they can get to exercise

Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night.
Beautiful night is,
When you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
Horror night is,
When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

Ladies , 👰what’s the first thing you check when a guy😎 is approaching you?
Boys listen….

Today my Neighbour was Baking Scones
.
It was Nice Playing With Her Kids
.
you must Love Kids guys

When i grow up i always wanted to date a coloured chick ^_^
until i found out of their culture of losing front teeth. -_- -_-
..
Nah i won’t survive yazi. :/