Nobody have the lowest voice than a guy
who is asking a girl for her phone number in a taxi/his..😉👌
•°•°••°•°•
Ladies am I lying??

” I’m Sorry But You’re Not My Type ”
Am i Not Your “Type” ? Or i Just Don’t
Have Money ?
Be Specific Sisi

Dear Future wife
You must know we will be married
forever and never divorce.
The following must be done to
divorce me…
*I want our divorce to take place in a
church we got married at, by the
pastor who’ve blessed our marriage
and all the people who witnessed our
vows. If we were able to invite em to
witness our marriage, I guess they
also have the right to come and
witness our divorce.Should any of the
witnessed die, forget about the
divorce, I won’t go for it.
.
*I want all my money I’ve spent on
our wedding celebration,
catering,food,drinks and rings …it will
be used on our divorcing
celebration,notforgetting the lobola
bride prize with interest of 25%
compounded annually.
.
*Seven goats and two cows must be
slaughtered to cleanse your shame of
disappointing my ancestors with our
divorce…all the goats must be green
in colour. Strictly no any other colour.
.
*Go and fetch all those woman
who’ve been trying their luck on me,
but I refused their proposals coz I
valued our marriage and thought I
wasn’t gonna betray and cheat on
you. Please go talk to em on my
behalf…I want em all.
.
*Your uncles who were negotiating
your lobola bride prize must be there
to renegotiate my refund. If one of the
uncles who was there on negotiations
had passed away or something, forget
about the divorce I want him there
.
*After finishing all of the things above,
I want a sourmoon, take me to a
place where I took you for our
honeymoon, and spent the same
period of time we spent on
honeymoon.better pray that we find
the same people we found there the
time we were there for our
honeymoon, should we find different
people..forget about the divorce

My Roommate’s parents were here today
so before they leave they took out R500
and said we gonna see what to buy
.
So my Roomate doesn’t wanna give me my
R250

iBreak up yama 2000
.
Her: “Lion”
Him: “What is it now bbe?”
Her: “Love is over now”
Him: “Why bbe?”
Her: “Legal wise”
Him: “What r u saying bbe?”
Her: “Don’t talk to me, talk to my lawyer ”
Him: “Are you really breaking up with me
bbe
“?
Her: “Lunch bar”
Him: “What’s that now”
Her: “Obvious”
Him: “Can I see you one last time ”
Her: ” Tseee Tseeere Tseeee”
Him: “What do you mean”
Her: “John Cena”
Him: “What about him?”
Her: “You can’t see me

Meanwhile: 😔😢😥👇
.
– Teacher : Why Your Paper is Blank ?
– Me : Sometimes “Silence” is The Best Answer ..

Some Girls Though , You Ask For Her Pic On Whatsapp …
Then Boom ! , She Sends The Whole Damn Gallery

I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a scratch ticket for a brand new car. When i got home,i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day,when my dad woke up and opened the door,outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me,because the car was from the electricity company,they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again

My mother wanted to start using facebook
i told her that we pay R500 per month

Have you ever made up a fake story and
your loyal friends say i remember that

A guy sat quietly in a bar very much
preoccupied about what his life will be from
his work.
All of a sudden, the city’s most notorious
bouncer kicked him off his chair onto the
floor and said to him, “that’s Karate for you,
Made in Japan.”
Knowing that he didn’t stand a chance with
him, he quietly woke up and went to sit
back at the his chair.
A while later, the bouncer came back with a
smack right onto the guy’s face and said
again, “that’s KUNG FU, made in China.”
A not so long, the bouncer kicked him again
and said, “That’s Taekwondo, made in
Korea.”
Thereafter, he walked to the bartender
ordered his beer and started drinking.
Infuriated, the guy went left the bar with
minor bruises.
About ten minutes later, the guy came back
and smacked the sh!!t out of the bouncer
knocking him out instantly.
Just then, he looked at the barman and said,
“when that bastard wakes up, tell him that
was a shovel(Foxolo), made in New York!”…

I stopped watching Nigerian movies when
i saw a ghost looking left and right to see
if it’s safe to cross the road

*RELATIONSHIPS IN 2020*
Boy: babe Are you coming or I can call
Refiloe.
Girl: sorry sweetheart, I can’t today I will
go and see Rainbow .He got paid today.