A teacher’s letter to a parent:

“Dear Parent, Jabu your son, doesn’t smell nice in school. Kindly encourage him to take his bath.”

Parent replies:
“Dear Teacher, Jabu is not a rose flower. Don’t smell him, just teach him! Thank you.”

HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.

•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.

•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.

•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.

•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.

•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.

•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.

•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.

“Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and increases mileage.”*

Please send this to your wife and let me know which hospital to come & visit you !

Rich in class

Teacher: “If i lay one egg today and tomorrow i lay four…how many eggs will be there be?”😕

Rich: “None”😑

Teacher: [suprised] “why not??”😨

Rich: “Because u can’t lay eggs”

An African woman married a Chinese man and had a child…

Two months later the child passed away😢

At the funeral house, the African woman kept crying and saying: “I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!..”😭

A family member pulled her aside and asked: “what did u know?”😨

She replied: “That Chinese Products don’t LAST LONG!!!”

Funny guys are dangerous😂😂

They’ll make you laugh and laugh and laugh….

Then boom you’re naked

Nobody keeps in touch like a female
you promised money

If you’re a single lady and you’re reading this…

Congratulations you now have a boyfriend😉

Hello “Bae”

That awkward moment
when the teacher tells you to read out loud …
And you don’t even know what page they’re on

A fat man saw an advertisement: “Lose 5Kg In A Week”⚠

He called and said: “I would like to join”😕

The girl said: “ok, be ready tomorrow at 6 am”😐

The next morning he got to the office and was taken to a room …he opened the door and found a hot babe wearing only shirt and pant😋

She said: “If you can catch me…you can sleep with me!”😉… the man started running after her but couldn’t catch her😩…During the whole week he tried to catchher but he couldn’t and he lost 5 Kg…

He then asked for the 10Kg program…The next morning at 6 am, he opened the door and found hotter babe wearing a bikini👙…she said: “If you can catch me, you will sleep with me…” He lost 10Kg that week…

So he thought that this program was awesome…He then requested for a 25kg program…The girl asked: “Are u sure??…it is really tough!!”😐

The man said: “Why not?”💪

The next day he opened the door expecting to see a naked girl but found a naked man who said: “If i catch you, i will sleep with you!”😀

That week the man lost 40Kg

She updated her profile pic and her mother commented:
“whose clothes are those??

Being ugly is not easy…
Sometimes when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror
you end up saying: “maybe it’s not me”

Cuddling is for the rich.
No woman want to place her head on a broke man’s chest,
when the heart is beating “Debt debt debt”

Being Popular on Facebook is like
sitting at the coolest table in cafeteria
at a Mental hospital function

Dad: Who do you like more ,Mum o Dad?
Son:Both

Dad:Ok if i go to America and your mum goes to Paris ,where will you go.
Son: Paris.
Dad: Dat means you like your mum more? Son:No ,that means i like Paris Dad: Ok if i go to Paris and your mum goes to America ,where will you go?
Son: America.
Dad: (Angry) Why! ?
Son: ‘cos l’ve been to Paris before. Dad: (angry) when did you go to Paris ? Son : in the first question you asked.

One word for the boy?

A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.

He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”