Paul was a tent maker, Peter was a fisherman,
Jesus was a carpenter.
If your pastor has no day job, he’s a thief.

If he comes back from work and sits in his car for a while.
Sister, his deleting the messages…
Yes, your rival’s messages..👌

Can someone take me to Campus Crush I just wanna reject you in public please.

DON’T VISIT VERY RICH RELATIVES OR FRIENDS

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked.*
MAID: What would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: How do U want it, black or white?
ME: White….
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would U like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Aiyo! forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: Flavored or non flavored?
ME: Infact, get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: Free me, I will swallow my spit…”

If You Have A Happy Relationship,
Then You Are Obviously Dating The Wrong Person

I Don’t Help People Push Their Stuck Cars Anymore…
What if You Are Pushing a Car That’s On its Way To Fetch Your Girlfriend?🙆

This December I Wanna Drink Until
They Call a Family Meeting On Me

Money Doesn’t Change People,
it Only Unlocks Characters That Were Jailed By Poverty.

Vacancy

Salary: R18,000 per week with free accommodation, meal’s & company car.

Limpopo game park need’s someone to bath Lion’s, take care of the tiger’s, play with crocodiles & feed the snake’s…
No qualification & experience required, just your medical aid card & funeral policy. If interested forward your CV to jointy@limpopo.gov.za. If you are not, don’t be jealous, forward to others.
& please don’t ask what happened to the previous worker… May he’s soul RIP

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,
unless I buy something.

My Plan For 2018 Was To Save R10 000
But I Still Have R40 Am Still Pushing

when I see two kids Fighting I stop them and
slap the Ugly one!

Two reason why I Don’t let my girlfriend to
touch my iphone plus

1.I Dont have girlfriend
2.I don’t have iPhone

I’ve been baby sitting a one month old baby
since morning till now
she hasn’t told me she’s hungry

You won’t know that you hav Kung Fu Skills,
Until Cockroaches Run All Over ur Body*

Those who cut tissues without following the dotted line, what is your problem?