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Please don’t inbox me with the intention of dating me,
You deserve better.



That awkward moment when you’re typing your password
and your friend is looking straight into the keyboard


that MTN lady who usually says you have one minute remaining
has tested positive for COVID_19 😷πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯


She told me that she can’t visit men.
So I asked, are u a virgin? She said no, then I asked but how you lose your virginity? She blocked meπŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ


She say she wanna grow up to drive a plane.
She wanna be a captain. Wow!!😱 Drive? Plane? Captain?πŸ˜‚
What kind of nonsense is that?πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.
The first one says, “i wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.”
The second one says, “i wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.”
The third one says, “l wanna be a boxer.” The others look confused and ask, “Why do you want to be a boxer?”
He proudly replies, “So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.”πŸ˜‚

One day 3 men were walking through the forest when they were caught by canibals.

The canibals told each man, to bring ten fruits of any kind and swallow, before they could be released, and not killed.
The first man, came with apples, he swallowed three and started coughing, he was killed, the second man came with grapes, he swallowed nine, when he was about to swallow the last one, he started laughing, he was killed, so wen the two men reached heaven, the first man asked the second man, why did you laughed when you had almost swalowed all the grapes? The second man replied, i could not help it, when i saw the third man coming with watermelons. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


Knock knock
Who is there
Marry
Marry who
Marry me


A famous prostitute died. People were confused as to what should be written on her grave. Finally, by the advice of Ophelia the wise woman, they wrote:

β€œAT LAST SHE SLEPT ALONE!!!” 😜😜😜

Dear lol and hmmm,
Thanks for being there for me wen I have nothing else to sayπŸ˜ƒ


Hey you, yeah it’s you that is reading this status,
you have a chance to win an iPhone, a Car, or a vacation in Dubai…….
use a sharp object to scratch hereβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
Please Do This Now..hurry and be the first…

If you break with someone please breakup completely.
Getting back together makes us who spread rumours look like liars.

She waits till you say Hi! so that she can say Hi! too. She waits till you say I love you so that she can say I love you too.
~
Everything she says after you’ve said.
My brother if you are not dating an ECHO then it’s a parrot🦜