This Thing Of Sleeping With Phone in Hands,
Now I Bought A House Online

The Ability To Control Tears When Food Doesn’t Reach You At A Function/Occasion Is The Highest Level Of Maturity

I gave my neighbors kid R100 to buy a sack of potato for R90 for me, I said he must keep R10 change for helping. This chap came back eating biscuits and gave me R90 change, he says the sack of potatoes is R95

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Yeses:
When I was Younger :•
I’d put my arms in my shirt 👕 and told people I lost my arms 💪
• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose❎🚫
• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once😔
• Waited behind a door 🚪 to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out 🚶 .
• Faked being asleep, so I couldbe carried to bed🏠
• Used to think that the moon🌚followed our car🚗
• Tried to balance the switch between On/ Off💢.
• Watching two drops of rain roll down window 💦 pretending itwas a race 🏁 .
• The only thing i had to takecare of was a school bag 👝 .
• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree 🎄 was going to grow in my tummy.
• Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off😜👀.
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed😕, Walked out,and then remember😮.
If u really went through this can u drop a”HI”

Losing a girlfriend or boyfriend it’s nothing
Imagine loosing free facebook some of us will be offline
for the next 5 years

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Today, I met my ex and she was kissing her new boyfriend in front of a store, I was watching them and she saw me then she asked me what I was doing there. I told her my wife is pregnant and I am here to buy baby stuffs and I am very very happy. I spoke as if they asked me that.

I proceeded in as she was looking at me, I bought 3 buckets, a baby seat and a baby bed with sponge with soaps then I chattered a taxi and left. She and her boyfriend were looking at me and I felt they envied me sooo much.

Now, my issue is, if you know any woman who has given birth, I am selling buckets, baby seat, soaps and sponge. I am around Boksburg, Commissioner street

Love used to be blind but now
it has received its treatment.
Now it looks at u, ur pocket, ur family &
social status & even ur bank account balance too.

If you think somebody is giving you a fake numbers,
read it back to them incorrectly. See if they’ll correct you.

When i Call My Parents And They Don’t Answer it’s No Big DEAL ✋😓 , But When They Call Me And i Don’t Answer it’s Like WORLD WAR III

Those days, When your uncle visits and gives you money but your mum takes it afterwards and when you protest she shouts
“shut up have you forgotten I almost died because of you in labor”.

Just met someone and we exchanged numbers,
Within 20 minutes she sent me a text saying
“baby I can’t live without you

So Ladies please tell me where does it hurt in your body when you spend your own money??

Gent’s I’m sorry but I think it’s time they Knew Now ……
Ladies , Every guy twerks Naked in front of a mirror when he’s alone

Football Rules of our childhood
1-the fat is always the keeper
2-the game ends only if all players are tired (EXCEPT RULE 6)
3-no matter the score, the team that scores the last goal wins the game
4-there is no referee
5-only if it is serious
6-if the owner of the ball gets angry the game is over
7-the 2 best players can’t play on the same team, so everyone chooses their players
8-if you are chosen the last one is a humiliation
9-if there is penalty the keeper is replaced by the best player of his team and says “not for good” to mean that after the penalty, the keeper returns to his post
10-when the ball comes out of the playground to a remote destination, it’s the hitter who’s going to get the ball
11-the best player on the ground is always on the same team as the owner of the ball
12-to start a game we always said “PREE” with our mouths, the game begins”
13-to distinguish teams, a team should play shirtless
14- you kick the ball in the air to start a match
15- Its all massive attack, massive defence
16- Remember the owner of the Ball is FIFA
17- No offside
18-if your Mom calls u , someone can be playing for you and when you return you continue
If you’ve been through this like me, you can also add yours