Wen ever u see a boi chatting and smiling just know DAT
someone’s daughter has fall into his trap
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The world is full of nice people……
If you can’t find one, be one.
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WORDS OF ELDERS*
“Beware of the naked person who offers you clothes!
“When one’s goat get missing, the aroma of a neighbor’s soup get
suspicious”.
“The future belongs to the Risk takers, Not the Comfort seekers!”
“A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple!”
“The first person you think of in the morning, or last person you think of at night, is either the cause of your happiness or your pain!”
“Be careful who you trust! Salt and Sugar are both white!”
“Kindness is like butter, it works best when you spread it around!”
“The walls don’t only have ears, they now see!”
“Sometimes, you have to play the role of a fool to fool the fools who thinks they are fooling you!”
“If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been!”
“A harsh man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful, when her lips are closed!”
“No matter how long the night, the day is sure to come!”
“A woman’s greatest perfume is the fragrance of her man’s success!”
“A wise person knows that there is something to be learned from
everyone!”
“It requires wisdom to understand wisdom.
The music is nothing, if the audience is deaf”!
“None of us is as smart as all of us. Work together to achieve!!!
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*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and face booking other peoples’ wives yet you don’t want to see your wife on social networks. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than $500. Your daughter who is awaiting A level results is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth $800 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife $2for sitshebo, but you spend over $20 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
ALL THE BEST
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Don’t let anyone define you.
You are who U are because of
YOUR own experiences in YOUR life.
They haven’t walked in YOUR shoes;
they haven’t overcome YOUR obstacles.
If you’re true to yourself then you are being true
to the most important person in your life.
There is something beautiful in everyday of Ur life
U just have to find it.
Search for the Positive & let go of the Negative.
Life gives two gifts. 1st is “Chance” & 2nd is “Choice”
Chance to meet many people in life &
Choice to select the Best ones for life.
So Select the ones U want in Ur Life &
Let go of the ones who don’t appreciate U
cos in the End what matters is only YOU & no one else.
we wish you a Marvelous weekend full of happiness.
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I was invited to a wedding, when i reached the hotel i found two doors written
*1 . bride relatives*
*2. Groom relatives*
I entered the one written groom relatives and found two more doors
*1 . ladies*
*2. men*
I went through the one for men only to find two more doors
*1 . people with gifts*
*2. people without gift*
I went through the one one written people without gifts and found myself outside the hotel through the back door at the door it was written
*_”So in this time of hard economy you want to just come, eat and drink without any gift, no way”_*
Don’t laugh please share 😂😂😂😂
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Lady and gentleman on a train.
Lady: Every time you smile,
I feel like inviting you to my place.
Gentleman: 😍 Awwww. . .. Are you single ?
Lady: No, I am a Dentist….
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“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking,
but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful,
when her lips are closed..!”
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When someone loves you, they don’t have to say it.
You can tell by the way they treat you..
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Marry a strong woman. Your daughter will have a role model and your son will know what to look for in a woman when he’s a man..!
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Dating a neighbor is nonsense, you be receiving texts like:
“Babe is everything okay i saw you coming from the toilet..”
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Most Of People Ask Themselves Why I like To Post On Facebook, Posting Is Better Than Inboxing Some People’s Gf And Ask Them Nudes..!
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When you look at bae, do you now believe in the saying: “Dreams do come true” or the one that says: “To be happy accept what life gives you”..??
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I Guess I’ll Be Bored in Heaven Because All My Friends Are Going To Hell
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Mom: Go Wash The Dishes
Me: WTF
Mom: Excuse Me
Me: Where’s The Fatuku
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Matomane promised his girlfriend twenty thousand rands while chatting with her on whatsapp. A week later, she unexpectedly visited him while he was about to travel.
“Honey! Where’s the R20 000 you promised me last week?” She asked.
“I don’t have any money with me right now babe, but here’s my ATM card. You can withdraw all the amount in my account”
He gave her his ATM card and left for durban, knowing fully well he had nothing in his account.
Halfway through his journey, he received a call from his friend,
“Hello. Matomane,
I just deposited the R100,000 I’ve been owing you for six months now into your account now. You should get an alert on your phone soon.”
Matomane is right now in the hospital for crashing his car into a tree.
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