If you want someone to listen to you,
start the conversation with
“I shouldn’t be telling you this but..”
Keep disrespecting your girlfriend like that,
one of these days she will remove her wig,
wash her make up
remove her nails
and talk to you man to man
TYPICAL AFRICAN
1: When making a call their finger is always on
the
end button, ready to cut the call.
2: Always check the airtime balance after each
call.
3: After cooking they always put the used
cooking
oil back in the bottle or cup for future use.
4: Empty coffee tins are used for storing sugar
&
salt.
5: When they boil milk they add water to
increase
its volume,
6: Empty mazoe & soft drink bottles are used
for
storing water in the fridge.
7: No matter how cheap something is they will
always ask for the price to be reduced.
8: If the bus conductor forgets to collect the
bus
fare they will also keep quiet till they get off.
9: When they buy mineral water they will not
throw
away the empty bottle instead they will just
refill it
with tap water
10. when they withdraw cash on ATM, they
recount the
cash in order to verify it.
11. If they buy meat or something delicious
they put in a transparent bag yet when buy
vegetables they put
them in black bag and use short-cuts
Am I lying?
How many shares?
You’ve Been Single From January till
November And As We Enter December You’ve
Found Love. Bro Don’t Accept It, The Devil
Wants To Play With Your Bank Account ☹☹☹☹
Trust me…
W A R N I N G * Please share this important warning with all your friends if you truly care.
Drinking and driving is extremely dangerous. Last Sunday evening, a friend of mine, while drinking and
driving, put his arm out of the window to indicate that he was turning right and someone grabbed his beer and ran away!
When buying Christmas presents for
Papa/ Prophet/ Spiritual Fathers &
Mothers , don’t forget to buy for your
biological parents… Yes, they may not
speak in tongues but they deserve
your honour and respect..
Girlfriend Is Like Internet Virus,
She Will Enter Your Life,
Scan Your Pocket,
Transfer Your Money,
Edit Your Mind,
Download Her Problems,
Delete Your Smile & Hang Your Life.
So Avoid Your Girlfriend & Send Her Number To Me Don’t Worry About Me,
I Am A Professional Anti Virus…
I heard that 3 girls in this group are planning to rape me..
*May their plan succeed in JESUS’ name
How to survive January
1) date a taxi driver for free ride to work
2) attend each and every funeral in your hood for a free plate
3) borrow meat from your neighbours and make soup and take it back
4) stay away from broke girls or niggas even he/she is your xondile
5) use one teabags at least 3× before you throw it away
6) use a taxi to work and save petrol
7) mix water with sugar to make a drink
8) try to use prostitutes for sexual needs to avoid imali yekhanda and unnecessary use of money
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.
The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
*Her husband*: The cat just died.
*She* (bursting into tears) : How could you be so blunt? Why couldn’t you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing.
By the way, how is my mom?
*Husband*: She is playing on the roof. !
ANSWER it if you are genius..!
A man and his wife have three sons,and every of the sons has
a sister.
How many are there in the family ?
A. 8
B. 10
C. 6
D. 12
WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex
DOCTOR: Okay, Give these pills to him.
Everyday,put one pill in his tea.
The woman did and they had sex which she really enjoyed.
Next day she thought to herself “It can only get better”
and puts two pills in his tea and they enjoyed more sex.
On the third day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea.
Two days later doctor called to know the progress.
Their son answered, “My ass is very sore,
Mommy is in coma at the moment,
Aunty is in hospital, the maid is suing dad for rape and
daddy is still running naked in the garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!!Bingo!!!
Even the dogs are running for their lives.”
When you lock the door to kill a snake and electricity goes off my friend thats when you realize that the devil is using your life to test the new version of temple run.
A man can work for 10years with unemployed wife and still be happy, But a woman will work 5days and the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.
You’re in taxi and a person next to you has your bae as a wallpaper.
What would you do ?
мєѕѕαgє: * ѕσмє тєχт мιѕѕιηg *
мєѕѕαgє: * ѕσмє тєχт мιѕѕιηg *
ѕєη∂єя: * ηαмє мιѕѕιηg * * ηυмвєя мιѕѕιηg *
ѕєηт: * ∂αтє мιѕѕιηg *
мιѕѕιηg υ α ℓσт тнαтѕ у єνєяутнιηg ιѕ мιѕѕιηg…. ♥
