I’ve started receiving texts mostly from ladies like:
“Its being a while”
“I Missed you so much”.
“You’re so sweet my dear”.
“Where are you?”
😳😳😳
BUT
No weapon formed against my wallet will prosper this Valentines day
Amen

Phone rings☎*:
*GIRL:* Hello
*GUY:* My L♡ve how are you doing?
*GIRL:* Am fine.
*GUY:* Will you be free during the weekend, & can you come to my house🏠?
*GIRL:* Am sorry I cant make it because I will be attending my Aunty’s wedding👰and the next
day I’ll be busy, I’m so occupied.
*GUY:* Ooh ok, I was just planning to take you out for shopping, suprise you with an iPhone📱 7 (256 GB jetblack) then buy you the dress👗, louboutin shoes👠👠you’ve been asking for…
*GIRL:* I will be coming & I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my L♡ve.
*GUY:* What about the
wedding👨👰?
*GIRL:* Which wedding, I was only joking.
*GUY:* Me too!

We have yet another set of Army Worms preparing to attack Men’s wallets and Bank accounts on the 14th of February. Advise from the Office of The Vice President Disaster Management and Mitigation Unit is for Men to use the strongest pesticide i.e Switching off your phones and change location._

A man and his wife came home drunk and went to sleep.
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So you scrolling for what cause I said they went to sleep.??
Do you want to wake them up?

*Ladies, If you play your man like a football,
another woman will catch him like a goalkeeper,
you will regret watching the highlights*

Nyaa came from school and dancing.
His father wondered what made so happy and decided to ask.
Dad : Son I have never seen you in this mood for a
while now…..any good news u want to share?
Nyaa : Dad next year you won’t be buying any textbook, notebooks and writing materials…..
Dad : That’s my son, why …. did you win a Scholarship?
Nyaa : No! Dad I’m repeating the same class

A man at work calls home and his 8 years old daughter picks the phone:
“Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No daddy she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” The little girl quipped.
“After a brief pause daddy says, “But honey you haven’t got an uncle Paul!”
“Oh yes I do, and he is upstairs in the room with mommy right now.”
Brief pause,“ Uh okay then, this is what I want you to do: put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door, and shout to mommy that daddy’s car has just arrived at the gate.”
“Ok daddy just a minute….”
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, “Done it daddy.
””What happened honey?”
“Well, mommy got scared and jumped out of the bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over, and knocked her head on the staircase ,now she is not moving at all.”
“What about Uncle Paul?” asked Dad. He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn’t know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he’s dead.”
After a really long pause this time… Daddy says, “Swimming pool, but we don’t have a swimming pool! Is this 486-5731?”
“No, this is 486-5713” “Sorry wrong number….!!!!”