Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus..
Wife: What do you mean ??
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!
Wife: “That’s AWESOME. if you do that, I’ll also do like Mary.
Husband: what do u mean ?
Wife: I will show up pregnant, yet untouched by my husband.”
: ��� ….!
😂😂😂😂😂😂

*Happy Easter in advance

*Please my people,respect yourselves this holiday. If you don’t know English, just type “Happy Easter”. I don’t want see posts like “He aroused”, “He has arousen”, “He’s riced”, “He roasted from the dead”, “He is rising”. Someone even posted “He has resigned “. The worst are the ones posting “Happy Esther”.*

Dating a church girl is awesome if you cheat and she finds out ,we pray together and blame the devil

Controlling anger is very important.
One guy got so upset with his girlfriend and reported her to his wife.

The worst decision you can ever make in your life as a man is to marry a woman because of her looks..!

If you want to be happy for a short time, GET DRUNK…
If you want to be happy for a long time, FALL IN LOVE…
But if you want to be Happy forever,
Don’t even think of these 2..!

That moment when electricity comes back
while you’re naked outside trying to lock🔐the gate..!

If you haven’t made peace with the fact that there’s 95% chances you’re going to be a stepdad or stepmom…👌
~•~•~
You’re childish…!

One day, Korack Was in Class when the Teacher Walked In. After Teaching for sometime, the teacher Decided to Make the Class an Interactive One. Here’s what ensued…
TEACHER: Who is a pharmacist?🤔
Only Korack Raised up his Hand.✋🏼
TEACHER: Is it only Korack who’s in this class?Still there was nobody else to answer the question except Korack.😐
TEACHER: Ok Korack, Answer the Question. But before you do, take this Cane and Beat Everybody in the Class with it.😬😬
Korack, filled with Happiness, did as his Teacher said and beat all His Classmates with the cane in his Hands.😀😁
TEACHER: Now you can answer the question Korack Tell these Dumb Students Who a Pharmacist is.😚☺🙂
KORACK: “A Pharmacist is a Farmer who Assist People.”😕😕
The teacher fainted!😆😂

Don’t get it twisted, Mzansi girls date who they love and end up marrying who is Ready. So bro’s forget love just be ready..!

What doctors write : ~~~~~~~
What you see : ~~~~~~~
What pharmacists see : 6 tablets of panado and 3 injections💉💉💉 of paracetamol

I was in my Room last night when i heared
my Neighbor screaming for help,help the snake sniched into my house!!!,then i ran with a strong Wood in my
hand to kill the Snake,when i got there
behold a Big Snake was in her sitting
room,me and my 12 Neighbor’s came
to kill the big Snake.
.
When we saw the big Snake we all were
busy shouting today is your End you witch
Snake
.
I first of all raised my own wood to hit the
Snake when the Snake turned and faced us
with Red eye on us.
.
I then said IF I COUNT to 3 LET US HIT THE
SNAKE AT ONCE
which we all agreed i counted 1,2,3 go then
Eskom took the LIGHT away and filled us with darkness.
.
We all started screaming in the Dark because
the Door was closed no way to run outside
and the snake was still inside the sitting
Room
.
We Nearly Killed Our Selves
WHEN SOMEONE TOUCHES YOU, YOU’ll HIT HIM
thinking it was the Snake
.
AS AM TALKING TO YOU NOW AM STILL IN THE
HOSPITAL, because we all Injured our selves
with the Wood instead of the Snake

A wife was in bed with her lover🍆🍑 when she heard her husband’s key in the door.🙄
“Stay where you are,😏” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.✋”
Sure enough,😄 the husband lurched into bed none the wiser😶, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet🤔 sticking out at the end of the bed😶.
He turned to his wife: “Hey,🤨 there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on💁‍♂️?”
“Nonsense,🙄” said the wife, “You’re so drunk😏 you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there😆.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two,✌three👌, four.🖖 Damn, you’re right.🤣

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.