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कल रात पंडित नेहरू मेरे सपने में आए
और बोले:😏
बेटा जो ये तुम भारत, पाकिस्तान और बंगलादेश के मैच का मज़ा ले रहे हो ना वो सब मेरी वजह से ही है !!😎

कांग्रेस को वोट दो तो आगे
भारत vs केरल/बंगाल/असम/कश्मीर
के मैच का मजा भी मिलेगा ।

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इस दिवाली 8 से 10 बजे तक पटाखे फोड़ो,

उसके बाद ‘ठाँय-ठाँय’ चिल्लाओ: सुप्रीम कोर्ट

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if You Can’t Thank GOD For Anything ,
Atleast Thank GOD That Mosquitoes Can’t Transmit H.I.V

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We beat up cheating boyfrnd for a living
Call us or Whatapp us on 0828676083
.
We are Fixing the Country.

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If usajola no brothers othi uphi ushintshi wami??
.
Khohlwa nuh 🤚 iwaste loyo muntu

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There are two things you should never waste your time on:
Things that don’t matter & People that think you don’t matter…

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I grow up know paper and silver money,
as for hair and nails money I didn’t know it

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Kamo GETS HOME AT MID-NIGHT…HIS WIFE ALREADY ASLEEP WITH A BROKEN HEART..

Kamo :My wife, please open 4 me…

Wife:Where are u coming from in the middle of the night…U will sleep there outside..

Kamo : Please open or else l will throw myself in the swimming pool & drown as u know, l cant swim.
.
Wife: Go ahead & throw yourself, l don’t

care…kamo THEN TOOK A BIG ROCK & THREW IT IN THE POOL..WHEN HIS WIFE HEARD THE LOUD SPLASH, SHE PANICKED, OPENED THE DOOR & RUSHED OUTSIDE, WITH JUST HER PANT & BRA ON…IMMEDIATELY, kamo RAN INTO THE HOUSE AND LOCKED HIS WIFE OUTSIDE…

Wife: Wena kamo open 4 me, this is not funny at all…

Kamo : Just wait there, l’m phoning my relatives and yours & the neighbours, so that you explain to them where you are coming from, in the middle of the night naked…

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Dear Girls…
If a guy tells you
👇
“Come to my house 🏠 I won’t Touch 🙌 you”
.
Tell him ” Come to Shoprite I won’t pick anything

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Signs that shows your man is gay
1.He owns a gown
2.He eats 3 slices of bread
3.He owns silk sheets
4.He has long hair
5.Long nails
6.Takes 1 hour bath/shower
7.Pictures of topless man on his cell phone
8.Follows more guys than girls on social networks
9.Too many selfies of him pouting or biting his tongue
10.MOST IMPORTANTLY, He’s a Orlando Pirates FC fan

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Some Girls are really poor in romance. you hit her with a pillow,
Boom she’s chasing you with a knife.

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Just heard my ex was hit by a truck.
Oh lord I 🙏 pray nothing happens to the truck

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पटाखे चलाने का जिक्र रामायण में नही है – सुप्रीम कोर्ट

सुप्रीम कोर्ट का भी तो जिक्र रामायण में नही है – एक पटाखा प्रेमी.

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पति और पत्नी दीवाली के लिए शॉपिंग की लिस्ट बना रहे थे।
पत्नी : सबसे पहले हमें क्या लेना है ?
पति : लिखो, ‘LOAN’

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ਪੱਪੂ ਨੇ ਤਲਾਕ ਲਈ ਕੋਰਟ ਵਿੱਚ ਅਰਜੀ ਦਿੱਤੀ !

ਜੱਜ – ਤੈਨੂੰ ਤਲਾਕ ਕਿਉਂ ਚਾਹੀਦਾ ਹੈ ?

ਪੱਪੂ – ਮੈਂ ਆਪਣੀ ਪਤਨੀ ਨੂੰ ਹੋਰ ਬਰਦਾਸ਼ਤ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਰ ਸਕਦਾ ਜੱਜ ਸਾਹਿਬ !
ਰੋਜ ਰਾਤ ਨੂੰ ਉਹ ਨਿਕਲਦੀ ਹੈ ਅਤੇ ਇੱਕ ਡਾਂਸ ਬਾਰ ਤੋਂ ਦੂਜੇ ਡਾਂਸ ਬਾਰ ,
ਦੂਜੇ ਡਾਂਸ ਬਾਰ ਤੋਂ ਤੀਸਰੇ ਡਾਂਸ – ਬਾਰ . . . . . !
ਅਜਿਹੇ ਉਹ ਸਾਰੇ ਡਾਂਸ – ਬਾਰਾਂ ਦੇ ਚੱਕਰ ਲਗਾਉਂਦੀ ਹੈ ,
ਅੱਧੀ ਰਾਤ ਨੂੰ ਘਰ ਪਰਤਦੀ ਹੈ !

.
ਜੱਜ – ਪਰ ਤੁਹਾਡੀ ਪਤਨੀ ਏਦਾਂ ਕਿਉਂ ਕਰਦੀ ਆ ?

ਪੱਪੂ – ਉਹ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਲੱਭਦੀ ਹੁੰਦੀ ਆ , ਜੱਜ ਸਾਹਿਬ

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