Don’t get it twisted, Mzansi girls date who they love and end up marrying who is Ready. So bro’s forget love just be ready..!

What doctors write : ~~~~~~~
What you see : ~~~~~~~
What pharmacists see : 6 tablets of panado and 3 injections💉💉💉 of paracetamol

I was in my Room last night when i heared
my Neighbor screaming for help,help the snake sniched into my house!!!,then i ran with a strong Wood in my
hand to kill the Snake,when i got there
behold a Big Snake was in her sitting
room,me and my 12 Neighbor’s came
to kill the big Snake.
.
When we saw the big Snake we all were
busy shouting today is your End you witch
Snake
.
I first of all raised my own wood to hit the
Snake when the Snake turned and faced us
with Red eye on us.
.
I then said IF I COUNT to 3 LET US HIT THE
SNAKE AT ONCE
which we all agreed i counted 1,2,3 go then
Eskom took the LIGHT away and filled us with darkness.
.
We all started screaming in the Dark because
the Door was closed no way to run outside
and the snake was still inside the sitting
Room
.
We Nearly Killed Our Selves
WHEN SOMEONE TOUCHES YOU, YOU’ll HIT HIM
thinking it was the Snake
.
AS AM TALKING TO YOU NOW AM STILL IN THE
HOSPITAL, because we all Injured our selves
with the Wood instead of the Snake

A wife was in bed with her lover🍆🍑 when she heard her husband’s key in the door.🙄
“Stay where you are,😏” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.✋”
Sure enough,😄 the husband lurched into bed none the wiser😶, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet🤔 sticking out at the end of the bed😶.
He turned to his wife: “Hey,🤨 there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on💁‍♂️?”
“Nonsense,🙄” said the wife, “You’re so drunk😏 you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there😆.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two,✌three👌, four.🖖 Damn, you’re right.🤣

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter
He replies ” Yes i do ” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?”
The guy replies ” Oh I have a personal genie”
The first man asks “Can i make a wish? ”
Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing”
“Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants
The man says ” I want a Million Bucks ”
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head
And the guy says to the other ” Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?”
The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

My boss is very nice and kind, he bought a new bike and he gave me the old one, he bought a new car and gave me the old one, he constructed a new house and gave me the old one too. Yesterday he got married to a new wife and I am still waiting for his call

Sometimes Take your Girlfriend For a Stroll at the Graveyard. Just to show her where she will be if she ever cheats on u.

Adam and Eve must’ve been white, they only took one apple, if they were Black, all the apples would’ve been gone plus the tree for fire wood. If they were Chinese, they would have eaten the snake as well

My ex thought i wanted to work things out 😒i asked her to come see me & bring weed,😀 while shes on her way 🏃 to me i called the police on her saying she’s selling weed😊. I’m so happy cause she’s in jail for months now

You are not black enough if you don’t switch off all your appliances
because it thundering

When a baby falls🐼
Whites: oh my baby are you ok?😯
Blacks: Don’t look at him✋…He will cry

A Man With Money Will Change A Broke Woman’s Life !! 🔥♥😻
A Woman With Money Won’t Even Look At A Broke Man !! 😂😂😪💔

Brothers Stay Woke

We UGLY Guys Don’t Usually Change Our Profile Pictures ✋✋
Because We Know How We Suffered To Look Handsome
in The Previous Photo !!