A beer company was hiring a taster, someone to taste the beers
before selling out. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, a dirty, rough looking man walked into the manager’s office asking to be employed.

The manager tried to figure out how he could drive this man away but couldn’t come up with an idea, so he decided to give the man a trial. He ordered his secretary to give the man a glass of wine. He took a sip and said, “It’s red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.”
“That’s correct!” The manager exclaimed, “Well give him another one let’s see.” So he was given. He took a sip again and said, “It’s burukutu, a combination of herbs and apeteshi distilled at Akokoaso near New Abirem in Eastern Region of Ghana 3 years ago” “Incredible!” said the manager.

Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, “Go get some of your urine in a cup let’s see if he will get that.” So the man was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, “Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I’m not given this job, sir, I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy!” both the man and the secretary fainted..😁😳✌

Don’t laugh alone put a smile on someone’s face by sending it.

Treat your girlfriend like a tooth brush….*
*Dont let anyone touch or use* *it*, *only you and you alone….*
*Keep it clean and safe…..*
*And please,*

*Remember to change it after every 3 months.*

*Its healthy. Thank you.*

Jack was lying on the doctors examination table today when she asked “How is your libido?” “My what?” I replied “Libido” she said “Do you feel like having sex?” “OK,” I replied “But we’ll need to be quick my wife is in waiting room “

Jack went for his hair-cut and shave in a salon, there he saw a beautiful lady sitting patiently in the shop. Suddenly Jack turned to the lady and said ‘woman, you’re so beautiful, can we meet later today? The woman replied; I’m married. Jack so, you can just tell your husband you’re going to visit a friend,… Women : tell him yourself, he’s the one shaving your face with the cut throat razor

Six old retired guys are sat playing poker at Gary’s house one night when Rocco loses 600 dollars on a single hand. At the shock of this he clutches his chest and then drops dead from a heart attack.

Tony asks, “Who’s going to go and tell the situation to his wife?”
None of them want this horrible job so they finally decide to cut the pack, and lowest card loses and has to go tell her.
Ronald draws a three and loses so he’s the one who has to go and break the bad news. The others tell him to be discreet and gentle so as not to make a bad situation even worse.
Ronald says, “Discreet? I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet – discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me, not a problem.” He drives over to Rocco’s house and knocks on the door. Rocco’s wife answers and asks Ronald what he wants.

Ronald replies, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this but your husband just lost 600 bucks playing cards and is afraid to come home. He’s asked me to come over here and apologize to you.”
Rocco’s wife goes crazy and screams, ” You tell him I said drop dead!”
Ronald doesn’t bat an eyelid and says, “Ok, I’ll go tell him.

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, “Why are you eating grass?”The man replied, “I’m so poor, I can not afford anything to eat.” So the layer said, “Poor guy, come back to my house.” The guys say, “I have a wife and three kids.” The lawyer told him to bring them along. When they were all in the car, the poor man said, “Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you.” The lawyer replied, “You’re going to love it there .the grass is over a foot tall”

Guys with a gap teeth be like when saying sorry to their bae’s

“Bbe i’m Thory”

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,
“Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat”

Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,
*”You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,”*
& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in class he posed the following question:
“Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?”

Without hesitating, Mandela responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,
“I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom.”

Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *”Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela’s exam sheet the word *”IDIOT”*
& gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

“Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade.”

Don’t mess with intelligent people.

A little boy asks his Dad: What’s between mom’s legs? The father answers: Paradise, my son. The kid asks again: What’s between your legs? The father replies: The key to the paradise. The son says: Piece of advice Dad, change the lock, the neighbour has a spare key.