I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would reboard in thirty minutes.Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, “Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs. Would you take him for me please?”Now picture this. All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a seeing eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses that day. People scattered not only trying to change planes but also trying to change airlines!

God Created A Man And He Said “this is a perfect creation”
……
He Then Created A Woman and said “well this one will need to paint her face every morning”

Two years ago I asked my friend to get me
my crush’s number because I was too shy to ask her myself 🙁
.
They are getting married next weekend

A Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the Whistler’s name. No one answered.

The Professor peacefully kept the Pen in his pocket saying: “Lecture ends here. I’ll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time”.

Everyone became interested.

“Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I’d better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride.

Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party. Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help. She asked me if I could drop her at her house, that she’ll be very obliged, to which I agreed.

She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don’t.

When we got to the address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and said that she had fallen in love with me.

I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I’ve also started liking her. I told her about my job as a professor in the university.

The girl asked for my number, which I gave her willingly. Then she asked me a favor, which I couldn’t have denied naturally.

She said that her brother is a student in the same university and asked me to take care of him, since we’ll be in a long relationship now.

I asked the name of the student. She said that I’ll recognise him with one of his very prominent qualities, *He whistles a lot!*

All eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled…

The professor said: *”I didn’t buy my Ph. D in Psychology.. I earned it”!*
😂😂😂😂

A pregnant woman was delivering but the baby find it difficult to come out, but the nurses as usual yelled *PUSH..!!! BUT*no sign of the baby coming ……
.
After 10munites later, the baby’s head came out and asked?
Baby = is this South Africa ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Zuma still in power ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Malema still causing trouble in Parliament ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = what about a bag of rice?
Nurse = R109.99
baby = how much is 1gig data bundles?
Nurse = R150
Baby = how much is the # SASSA grants?
Nurse = R350
Baby = and u want me to come out?
Nurse = yes!!
Baby = u must be joking!!!

A woman called the police
station last Saturday evening
and said, “My husband has
gone out with a girlfriend
and right now am going after
them. I have a gun and when
I find them, I will kill both of
them right away”. The police
asked, “Where exactly have
they gone?”.
Woman: They went to watch
a certain Comedian show.
The police rushed quickly and
went to the place and made
sure they arrived earlier than
the woman. When they
reached the place, they took
the mic from the Comedian
and started announcing, “If
there is a married man here
and has come with a
girlfriend, you must leave
immediately. Your wife is
coming right now with a gun
to shoot both of you dead”.
The police were surprised
that the door became too
small as everyone was
running out and the show
ended because even the
Comedian himself ran out!!!

You find a beautiful girl and the first thing
she asks you is “do you have another
girlfriend?”.
My dear have you ever seen someone
going to buy clothes while naked?

ENGLISH KiLLERS
1. She killed her self and died
2. Give me a blue pen of any color.
3. She commited suicide but thank Good
she’s alive.
4. Pick up the paper and fall in the
dustbin.
5. Both of you stand together separately.
6. I have three daughters; Both are girls.
7. Seeing identical twins, the principal
said,”you look together, are you twice?”
8. Am craving for an orange juice with a
guava flavor.
9. You three girls, both of you come here
and follow me. I’m right behind you.
10. I Will like to thank my folks,not forgetting
my parents.
11. I woke up dead.
12. They are eating jealous of me.13. I have
a financial problem of money.
14. I never hurt people internationally.
15. Last week, John was shot dead and
recovered in hospital.
16. Close the window, this weather is
coming inside.
17. All of you stand together in acircle.
18. My favorite tea is coffee.
19. He was involved in a car accident of
airplanes.
20. Yes are cousins , our mothers are
brothers
21. Its better to kill myself than to commit
suicide.
22 Stop talking twice plz try 2 speak once
upon a time
23. Add more pliza

You Break Her Heart We Take Her, We Fix It
We Marry Her That’s What We Do In
2018.

Female size
.
Size 28 – Slender
Size 30 – Sexy
Size 32 – Adorable
Size 34 – Pakistan
Size 36 – Makoti
Size 38 – African woman
Size 40 – You Need herbax
.
Which one is yours ??

The Relationship stress can damage your Health..
my Girlfriend told me it’s over while I was on my way to fetch my niece at pre-school then boom I came with a wrong child…

I told a zulu-girl that I want to take her to cinema
and she said you know what “I hate that restaurent”…
.
I’ve been fainting since

“I don’t date guys who don’t have cars”
says a girl who bath with soap
until it becomes size of a simcard