A sophisticated looking Muslim lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down.
The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated Muslim lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.

To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her long Silk Black Top and points to her right inner thigh – very high up. “Right here,” she says, “I want you to tattoo a Moon and Star and underneath it I want the word “Eid Mubarak.”

Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, “On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word Christmas.”

The owner looks at her. “Ooh, lady, it’s none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I’ve ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that?

“Well,” the lady said, “I’m sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there’s never anything good to eat between Eid and Christmas.”

A man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98.
After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked,
“Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?”
The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down…
And I know for sure, he won’t ask for directions.”

Girls want Attention.
Women want Respect.
Men want both.
No no.. not Attention and Respect.
Both Girls and Women

Police officer: Mr Kasote, we are here to investigate the source of your wealth…

Mr Kasote: When I was poor, did you investigate the source of my poverty?

I got my wife a Pug dog for her birthday.
Despite the squashed nose,
bulging eyes, rolls of fat and being ugly..
The dog seems to love her.

They say that the new super computer knows everything. A sceptical man came and asked the computer, “Where is my father?” The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with, “Your father is fishing in Michigan.” The sceptical man said triumphantly, “You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years.” “No” replied the super computer immediately, “Your mother’s husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout!”

A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: Thats nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.

Son: Dad, what does gay means?
Father: It means to be happy.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices stange growth on his penis.
He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.”
The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Thailand.
The doctor examines him and says, “You’ve been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”
The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”
The doctor says, “I bet they told you it had to be cut off.”
The man answers, “Yes!”
The doctor smiles, nods, “That is not correct. It will fall off by itself.”

Women are like telephones. They love to be held.
They love to be talked to.
But, if you press the wrong button, youre disconnected