Don’t advertise your happiness on social
media.
Don’t advertise your happy marriage On
social media.
Don’t advertise your holidays on social
media.
Don’t advertise your kids achievements
on social media.
Don’t advertise your pregnancy on social
media.
Don’t advertise your expensive buys on
social media. (Car, house etc)
No one is going to be happy for you.
all the “nice” comments you get are just
fake.
you just attracting the evil eye on you &
your family.
you just attracting jealous people into
your life.
you don’t know who’s saving your
pictures & checking your updates.
you really need to Stop this as it is going
to ruin your life, family, marriage.
social media , if not used responsibly , can
be the devils eyes, ears & mouth, don’t fall
into the devils trap.
May God help us & save us from social media
disaster !!!

2 guys were swiming when a pregnant
woman drowned. They rushed 2 save her,
pulled her 2 safety. The 1st guy started
giving her breath by lip locking (mouth to
mouth). The 2nd guy took off the woman’s
pants and put his mouth on her private
parts! 1st man: “R you mad? W.T.F are you
doing?” 2nd guy: “Yeyi, you save the
mother and i save the child”

I mistakenly sent someone R 5000 through
e Wallet…in fact should I say I sent R5000to
a wrong number. After realizing this, I
calmed down and sent him/her this text
message: “Hello Dear, I hope you got the
membership welcome fee of R5000 to our
Satanism Church. We are glad and looking
forward to having you with us. That is just
the beginning of the richest life you are
about to start living. We hope you are as
excited to be joining our church as we are.
As I just said, that is a welcome salary. We
are having a meeting tonight whereby we
will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the
start of this month. Please invite over any
female person you may be close to. Lets
meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE. If you
haven’t shown any interest in our church
and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send
the money back to this number otherwise
welcome to our Church. See you tonight.” 10
Minutes later, I got a message saying send
another R5000 my friend is also interested’. I
fainted, people are so broke these days.

Me : 15:00 hello baby
Her : last seen 15:01.
Me : 15:03 Love.
Her : Last seen 15:05.
Me : 15:07 baby I miss u,I have a gud news for u..
Her : Last seen 15:08.
Me : 15:.10 I lv u.
Her : Last seen 15:12.
Me : 15:14…86324950021(used airtime).
Her : 15:15.baby is not working.
Me : Last seen 15:16.
Her : 15:16 baby re-send it again I wanna call my mom..u knw it’s her birthday..
Me : Last seen 15:17.
Her : 15:18.Baby the time u were texting I was sleeping and I dreamed about us getting married..
Me : Last seen 15:19.
Her : 15:20Baby talk to me I luv u.ur so special in my Life.
Me : Last seen 15:20.
Her : 15:21 Baby plz double check tht namber plz I lv u.
Me : Last seen 15:21.
Her : 15:22 baby plz talk to me.
Me : Last seen 15:25.
Her : 15:26 baby re send tht airtime i ddn’t mean to hurt u…I lv u so much.
Me : Last seen 15:28

If his phone rings and he goes
outside… Follow him and help him
find the signal
in relationship we help each other

My goal for 2018…

Is to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016,because I promised them in 2015 and planned them in 2014…

WHY ME…..?
My girlfriend visited me last night.
When she went to bathroom to shower, her phone rang, I looked and saw Will Smith calling.,.. I didn’t
say much
After that, another call came in and when I
Checked, it CHRIS BROWN Calling
I was a little bit nervous but I calm.
Within few minutes, another call came in from different person, it
Was JUSTIN BIEBER calling. …
I said to myself, Doe’s it
Mean This Girl is A Celeb
And I don’t know?
As if that was not enough
Another call came in with a saved name as
DRAKE
Something stroke my mind and I decided to dial my number what I saw was Papa Penny calling!

I’m tired looking for jobs I’m looking for a girlfriend now
Any girl drop your CV via Inbox
Place
Age
Contact details
How many exes you have
5 years of cooking experience
Closing date Friday late application will not be rejected will be considered as side girlfriends
Interviews to be held at my room
Come with black skirt not black pen,sex statement and sex number not SARS no.No sexual record not criminal

No one runs faster than a girl with makeup
when it suddenly starts raining….
Even a cheetah cannot catch her

Your girlfriend will always tell you about the guys
she rejected not the ones she accepted.
Be wise

Teacher: Rainbow, define the word “coward”.
Rainbow: It’s a cow that gets award.

I don’t know why I’ve been suspended.

Teacher: Rainbow, define the word “coward”.
Rainbow: It’s a cow that gets award.

I don’t know why I’ve been suspended.

My Father says my Girlfriend is ugly but
when i look at my Mom
-aii let me drink some water!!

Do you still remember those awkward
moments in schools during Exams?
1. When a bright student tells the invigilator
that question 4 has a problem, but you have
already answered it…
2. When a fellow student asks for a graph
paper, but you are finished and did not see
anywhere where it was required…
3. When the invigilator says jump question 6
we will rectify it later, but it was the
question you enjoyed most when
answering…
4. When you see people busy using rulers
and you are wondering what is going on…
5. When you hear your friends arguing after
the exam whether the answer to question 5
was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was
-45000
6. When other students r bzy with a
caculator n u asking yoself “r we writing the
same paper
7. When you skip Q2 to Q3 coz you’re
clueless of what is required then Q3 ithi
“Use the answer found in Q2 to complete
this question”

Every village have this guy who always put
a speaker outdoors, plays loud music then
lock himself up inside the house.

Did u know that superman and supermarket are cousins