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Every time she goes out at night to drink🍻 with her friends💃👭, she comes back early around 3am🌃 in the morning, she knocks🚪 in the window because she lost her key and when I open the curtains⏳ to see who it is ,It’s her, she makes funny ugly😉 faces, when I open the door she walks🚶‍♀️ In like a model 💃(Cat walking) convincing me she’s not drunk🥂 but she keeps falling😑, she sends me to go out and look for her other shoe👠 “stuck in a mud ” she says. I come back she locked me out👏, she continue to make funny😬 faces through the window. She forgets we hid the spare key outside under the rock😛, 🙈👅I open the door she runs🏃‍♀️💃 and hide herself from me, she puts a bucket on her head and cover her eyes with her hands, I Ignore her and go sleep🛌. She so drunk she starts singing random songs,🌴 starts jumping on the bed🛏 like a kid, pulls me by ears 👂 and rides my back like a horse ,while I’m trying to sleep ,runs to the toilet to vomit🚽 ,I have to wakeup And Check on her ,Hold Her Hair As She Vomits😛 , make sure she’s okay😑 , She Goes To The Kitchen ,breaks Glasses🍷 I get There Shes Eating eating everything in the fridge🍎🍓🍉🍨🍢🍲🍞🍜🍤🍛🍗 shes wearing the clothes 👕👔👖She Ironed For me for work ,Takes Out her phone takes selfies🤳 I have to pick up the glasses and sweep the floor ,prepare my clothes👖👕👔 for work and hers👗 too if shes going ,when I’m done ,Im noticing shes been quiet for a while now ,I go and check her out ,I get there shes sleeping🛌 I have to pick her up and put her in bed ,I go out to switch off lights 💡 I come back She has wetened💦 the bed, now I have put her on the Couch put a blanket wrap her feet and tuck it to her and i’ll take the floor I close my eyes to sleep I hear the boom sound ,its her she fell😑 off the couch , Now We both sleeping on the floor ,she’s farting so bad I cant sleep ,I yawn as I close my eyes 📢”Trrrr trrr⏰” the alarm goes off its 6:30am I better get ready for work 😔 And You know What I Don’t Mind Cause I Love My Babe, She is my only Queen

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School Trip…
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Whites: Apple, Juice & R100
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Blacks: Full Chicken, Sandwich, Fridge, Stove,
Geyser, Mogodu, Half skop, Achar & R200

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My brother, if her phone rings and she stares at you before picking …
Just know that your assistant is calling

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People ask me why I give the best relationship advice but yet am still single,

So I tell them “coaches don’t play

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HIM: Eish bae, these days it’s too cold. Tjo!! I hate Winter time, so you? which time do you like?
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HER: I like Airtime!!

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हम भी बचपन मे श्री कृष्ण के समान खूबसूरत बच्चे थे।
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नौकरी की भाग दौड़ ने भैरोबाबा
बना दिया

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रोजी एक बदसूरत लड़की थी,
उसका कभी कोई बायफ्रेंड
नहीं बना.
जिससे उसे बहुत टेंशन थी . तो वो मदद के लिए
पंडित के पास गयी।
पंडित उसे समझाने के लिए बोला –
रोजी ,इस जन्म में
तो तेरा कल्याण नहीं हो सकता, पर मरने के बाद
तेरी सारी इच्छाएँ पूरी होंगी।
रोजी बहुत खुश हुई और उसने मरने का फैसला किया और पास
के ही फ्लाई ओवर से कूंद गयी,
किस्मत से वो केलो से भरे एक ट्रक में गिरी और बेहोश
हो गयी,
जैसे ही उसे होश आना शुरू हुआ, उसने आस पास हाथ
फिराया ,
मारे ख़ुशी के बड़बड़ाने लगी-
एक एक करके आओ
प्लीज एक एक करके……

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A Preacher finished the service one morning by saying, ‘Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars.
As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17.’
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, ‘Last week I asked you all to read Mark Chapter 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand.’ Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.
Smiling, the preacher said, ‘You are the very people I want to talk to today.. the liars ……. Mark has only 16 chapters.’
God have Mercy.

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ਯਾਰ ਪਹੁੰਚਦੇ ਨੇ ਅੱਧੀ Bell ਸੁਣਕੇ..

ਤਾਹਿਓ ਥਾਪੀਆਂ ਜੱਟਾਂ Da ਪੁੱਤ ਫਿਰੇ ਮਾਰਦਾ.

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Mama. Those who have preach 2 us that drinking
alcohol is unholy but have a box of wine in their church’s storeroom are here.
U never told us how 2 deal with them.Give us a signal mama!

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Suna tha pyar krna art hai per
main too commerce ka student hu
Main apne ego ko credit krta hai
Or wo apne attitude ko debite krti rhi

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Girl:I love u baby do u
Boy: no I don’t
Girl:why???
Boy:you are very cute that’s why
Ok

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Holding a it’s doesn’t mean the is something inside. …..
so many people they will see you with
ladies and they think you dating them

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ਇੱਕ ਤੂੰ ਨਾ ਕਰੇ ਤਾ ਕਰੇ ਕਿਹੜਾ,,
ਮੇਰੀਆਂ ਸਭੈ ਜਰੂਰਤਾ ਪੂਰੀਆਂ ਨੂੰ,,
ਲੋਕੀ ਤੱਕਦੇ ਅੈਬ ਗੁਨਾਹ ਮੇਰੇ,,
ਤੇ ਮੈ ਤੱਕਦਾ ਰਹਿਮਤਾ ਤੇਰੀਆਂ ਨੂੰ

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isang araw naligaw si Pedro at Juan sa isang gubat at nakaramdam sila ng pagkagutom ng may tinig silang narinig.
“KAYONG DALAWA DUMAMPOT KAYO NG MALAKING BATO..”
Kinuha ni Pedro ay malaking bato. Samantalang si Juan ay maliit palibhasa tamad nga.Nagsalita ulit yung mahiwagang tinig.
“KUNG GAANO KALAKI ANG BATO NA NAKUHA NYO YAN ANG TINAPAY NA KAKAININ NYO…..”
Badtrip si Juan.Nagsalita ulit yung mahiwagang tinig.
“DUMAMPOT ULI KAYO NG MALIIT NA BATO”
Knuha ni Pedro ay maliit na bato. Samantalang si Juan ay malaki ang kinuha kasi nabitin sa pagkain. Sabi ng mahiwagang tinig…
“IHAGIS NYO ANG BATONG HAWAK NYO……………KUNG ANO ANG LAYO NG BATONG HINAGIS NYO ITO ANG MAGIGING HABA NG BUHAY NYO”
Badtrip na talaga si Juan. Nagutos muli ang mahiwagang tinig…
“KUMUHA ULI KAYO NG BATO PERO NGAYON DALAWANG BATO”
Kumuha si Pedro ng dalawang maliit na bato. Samantalang si Juan ay nag-isip. Di mo na ako magugulangan… Hehehe… Kumuha si Juan na isang maliit at isang malaking bato… Ano ka ngayon sabi ni Juan…
Nagsalita ulit ang mahiwagang tinig…
“KUNG ANO ANG SUKAT NG BATONG HAWAK HAWAK NYO YAN ANG MAGIGING SUKAT NG ITLOG NINYO!

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