Uma igama lakho kunguZanele, ungalilahli ithemba. One day nawe uyoba ne-tarven uyiqambe ngokuthi yiKwaMaZet.

Uma igama lakho kunguNokwazi Madonsela, uhlala Osizweni, abangani bakho baplana ukukwenzela i-surprise party ngoMgqibelo. Ngizwe la eNando’s bexoxa.

“Amantombazane azozizela.” Kusho ugogo egunda umntanami ngeskero.

Liwe ibele, i-tattoo ye-butterfly iphenduke ilulwane.

USuper wayebuka iplazi likaMathayi, kwakunensimu enkulu kutshalwe kuyo utamatisi.
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“Bab’uMathayi, ungangidayisela loya tamatisi uma ngikunikeza ishumi?” kwakubuza uSuper ekhomba utamatisi omkhulu ovuthiwe.
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“Cha,” kuphendula uMathayi, “angeke kulunge mfana kaMdelwa. Uyabona ngaloya tamatisi, ngizothola R2-50 ngoba mkhulu futhi usuvuthiwe.”
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USuper abone utamatisi oluhlaza, “Ungangidayisela loya tamatisi ngeshumi?”
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“Yebo,” kuphendula uMathayi, “Ngingakudayisela wona ngesihlanu.”
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“Kulungile,” kwasho uSuper ebeka isihlanu esandleni sikaMathayi, “Ngizobuya ngeviki elizayo ngizowulanda.”

Ngenye imini ngadelela omunye ubhuti edlula estradini kanti ugogo uyangibona, wavele wathi: “Ngena umshaye mntanami!

Bazokuxaka eMzansi, umuntu ahambe ayobhala i-test ye-learner’s licence ashiye imoto yakhe kwi-parking.

Sekunzima nokutshela ingane yami ukuthi ngakhula singenawo ugesi, ngoba nayo ivele ithi: “Nami.”

La bantu bama-serious relationship angeke ubezwe bekhuluma ngeValentine’s Day, kodwa le genge yama piece job…

Mina: “Waze wamuhle u-boy.”
: “Ngiyambongela, nase-crèche uhlakaniphile.”
Mina: “How old are you, boy?”
: “Blue.”

Mina: “Sawubona bhuti, ngisacela ukubuza ukuthi angakuphi amatekisi aya eThekwini?”

Taxi Driver: “Weeee Jabulani! Ikhona inyama yenhloko kuMaMkhize namhlanje?”

Mina:

Uma ngingafunzwanga istubheli this year, ngiyayeka ukujola. Kuyoba nini umuntu ehleshulelwa ummbila?

Ngikubona konke nje, uyayicabanga kodwa i-pain ezwiwa yi-slay queen sakwaNgubane uma siyokwenza izinzipho?

Phela i-Valentine’s Day akuyona i-Women’s Day, nathi siyazifuna izipho.

Kanti idlalwa kanjani le nto ye-Valentine’s?

Kahle kahle leli gama elithi ‘Conference’ selinesdinyana nje la kuFacebook, kodwa ngoba ningamajita ami, ngizobekezela.

Angikaze ngivalwe amehlo ngihanjiswe kancane kuthiwe: “Ta-Da!”
Bese ngikhonjiswa 3 boxes weHeineken.