Me : babe it’s OVER 
…
My abusive girlfriend : What??? 
Me : it’s over the table babe
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Sub Categories
I think this December is going to be the best December we’ve ever experienced 
I’ve already bought ice cubes for it and a cabbage for January just in case to be on the safe side
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Ever looked at some facebook friends and be like
When did i accept u 
?
Did u break in?
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Girlfriend : babe why do you accept these ladies when they propose you?? Am i not enough for you??
Me : when someone offer you money do you decline it because you have salary??
To cut the story short I’m single now
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What makes u feel better when you are sad?
1.Music
2.Weed
3.Jokes
4.Facebook
5.Sleeping
6.Sex
7.Money
8.Alcohol
9.A kiss
10.marijuana
11.movies
12. others (Specify)
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Last night, My Neighbour Came home drunk and banged on his own door for like 5 Mins . Problem is , He lives alone, So I went outside and told him
“He wasn’t there ” and he left !!!
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am i the only one who wipes the floor with the dish cloth while no1 is watching…?
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What thoughts to wear on our
Mind…..
Dresses impress others,
Thoughts impress us….
So, wear happy and positive thoughts
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When a short girl is under an umbrella it looks exactly like mushrooms 
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Jonathan
Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken…
Pastor: Praise The Lord
Congregation: Hallelujah
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon…
Pls Have Ur Debit Cards Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings….
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password: Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker
Meanwhile… ANNOUNCEMENTS
Church Secretary: Dis Week’s Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don’t Miss Out …
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT…
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don’t Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube… God Bless us….
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will learn their ABC. A for Apple won’t be useful anymore…. Instead:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera Mini
P is for PicMix
Q is for QuickTime
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo
Z is for Zuma
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“No Thanks, I’m A Vegetarian” Is A Funny Thing To Say
When Someone Tries To Hand You Their Baby 
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My friend is my world.
My friend is my love
My friend is my queen
My friend is one in a million
My friend is my everything
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One day somebody buy a donkey and the man who buy it ask how the donkey works ?
the farmer said if you say oh my god it will walk ,if you say oh my god two times
it will run. The man take it for a test drive and said oh my god two times and
it begins to run the man said stop because the mountain has stop and
there was water on the ground and the man say oh my god and
the donkey begin to walk in to the water from the mountain
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We have smartphones
We have smart cars
We have smart building
When we have smart people ?
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When you are at the market and you saw your girlfriend twin sister and you go to her for a kiss and your girlfriend was rite beside you
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Work on being the best version of yourself than competing with others.
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