Well in my humble opinion, of course
without
offending anyone who thinks differently
from my
point of view, but also by looking at this
matter in a
different way and without fighting and by
trying to
make it clear, and by considering each and
every
ones opinion, I honestly believe that I have
completely forgotten what I wanted to say.

If you are offered R10 000 to kill a
mosquito on your dad’s head with
slippers…..will you go for it?

1. Tell your WIFE
*”I LOVE YOU”*.
She will say
*”I LOVE YOU TOO”.*
2. Tell her
*”I MISS YOU”.*
She will say
*”I MISS YOU TOO”.*
3. Tell her
*” I love you so much”.*
She will say
*”I love you more and more”.*
4. Now tell her
*”Am sending R1 500 to ur
account”.*
If she says I am sending
you more than that, I will leave
Mzansi go on exile to Afghanistan
immediately.

You dont even have a passport but your
naked pictures are in America.
My sister you made it.

A lady on telephone:
Hello Sir, I want to meet & talk to you.
Man: Do you know me?
Lady: Yes, you are the FATHER of one of my
KIDS!
Man stunned,oh my God!!!!
Are you Fiona
No
Are you Julie?
No
Are you Cissy??
No
Are you Flavia?
No
Are you Alice?
No
Are you Prossy?
No
Are you Vannesa?
No
Are you Grace?
No
Are you Sarah?
No
Are you Lydia?
No
Are you Agnes?
No
Are you Oliver?
No
Are you Beth?
No
Are you Carol?
No
Are you Gloria?
Lady in confusion
No Sir, I am the class TEACHER of your son
but you just made my day..
Let’s pray for men.

A gal with big eyes can read your messages even when ur Phone is locked

I have finally given up on Africans ✋ -_-
.
How can somebody steal a white Goat and dye it black and the owner of the Goat come and say she knows the smile of her Goat?

This 1 got me laughing.
Three pastors met & agreed to
sincerely tell each other their
problems which must be kept a
secret between the three of them.
The first pastor said; my problem
is money l do steal even from the
church offering. Please pray for
me. The second pastor; mine is
women. Whenever l see any woman
my desire will be to go to bed with
her, infact l have slept with most
of the church (female) members.
Turning to the third pastor to hear
his problem he started crying (it
took his friends some effort to
calm him). When they asked him
to continue, he was still crying, he
said my problem is gossiping,
when we leave this place everybody
will hear all what the two of you
have just told me. Please pray for
me! The two pastors fainted. Don’t
spoil the fun, pass it on to make
people laugh.

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,

“Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕”

She replied ” No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote.”

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies…..*🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍

The story continues….😏

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased. Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, “your husband has blocked your credit card……….”😲😲😲😲😲😲

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Story continues….

Wife took out her husband’s credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own card.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues…

After swiping, the machine indicated, ‘ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE’…….

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues….

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband’s phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn’t call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don’t underestimate a desperate woman!*😷😷😷😷😷

Story continues….

On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈

A note was pasted on the door

“Couldn’t find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something”.😇😇😇😇

Damn!!… He left with the house key too.

😂😂😂😂

*Moral: Don’t try to control your husband.
You will always lose

WHICH OF THIS SENTENCE DO YOU LIKE
HEARIN IN SECONDARY SCHOOL ABOUT YOUR
MATHS TEACHER.
1.Maths Teacher Is Not In School
2.Maths Teacher Will Not Be Coming To
School Throughout This Week.
3.Math Teacher Is Sick
4.Maths Teacher Is Dead.
5.Maths Teacher Has Been Fired.

Dear ladies. As soon as you break up with
your boyfriend. Please alert the guy that
showed interest in you while you were
dating
Let’s keep queue moving
Thank you

Being known by her family is not enough for me…
I want my nudes in her Mother’s phone.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit any porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,but the wrod as a wlohe. Lkie if u can raed tihs

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him in peace
4. Don’t check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don’t bother him with his movements
6. Clean the house
7. Wash his cloth

So what’s so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

It’s really not too difficult but… To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. not stress her out
48. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

49. give her lots of attention
50. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
51. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

52. Should learn not to ask for change when u give money for shopping. Whatever u give out becomes rightly hers no matter how big the note is.
………
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS OO 😄😀😃😜🌹 Send this to everyone on your list. Make a happy home. Wishing you all a HAPPY FAMILY.

When electricity goes off, Only a Black
person will look outside to make sure the
neighbors are also in the dark