I’ve just killed a mosquito that bitten Me 5 years Ago 😬
.
That N*gga thought I forgot his face

I received a call in the morning and the conversation was like this:
Me: hallo
Caller: do you have a heart?
Me: yes
Caller: do you have intestines?
Me: yes I do
Caller: OK am coming to take them..

He hung up.. Eeee I was like damn wat is happening to me. Am I dreaming??
He called again after some minutes..
Me (scared) :ha hallo!
Caller: hey sorry my brother, I thought I was calling the butcher , sorry wrong number my friend…

He hung up..

I was driving Range Rover in my dream last night until
someone slapped me and said ”
stop pushing the bed to the kitchen

I Think My Loan Shark Wants To Play Baseball With Me
He’s At The Gate Holding A Baseball Bat.

Today I went to school in a taxi
DRIVER : I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do he said! 😎😎😎.
After a few seconds I said : TURN LEFT !!!!!!!

An idiot found a iPhone on the floor, He give it to a police officer, however, the officer thought it was a prank and didn’t receive it. Then this idiot kept the iPhone and start using it., Then a funny scene happened: the idiot keep tapping on …. ……See More

You can’t be born in February
And be
Normal even the month is not
Complete…

Girls with bipolar can text you
“bye” then get mad if you don’t reply

If you’re sick never google the symptoms✋
You’ll die from stress

A woman who doesn’t ask for money is setting a trap for you
so you can marry her and she start controlling all your money

Teacher: why do humans have different blood groups😕
Rich: so that mosquitoes can have different flavours

There is nothing that scares me like when
I am borrowing someone my phone
he/she goes to chrome and start typing Por…
I am just afraid of those suggestions that will come up…