I Went on blind date with this blonde girl the other day…she suggested we go to Mcdonald’s to grab something to eat and I said, only if you can spell Mcdonald’s. She said…………Why dont we go to KFC instead?

My goal for this year is to be crazy rich…..
im already crazy.

When your girlfriend start answering your calls like “eish hellow”
My brother your days are numbered…

Do you know when you sleep till 2pm
you save money you would have used for breakfast?
Think about it.

A Woman Is Driving First Time On The Highway.

Her Husband Calls & Says: “Be Careful Love, It’s Just Been On The Radio That Some One Is Driving The Wrong Way On The Highway”

She Replies: “Someone? These Idiots Are In Hundreds“

Questions: “What Is The Difference Between A Man Who Is Buying A Lottery Ticket And A Man Who Is Arguing With His Wife?”

Answer: “Lottery Ticket Buyer Has Still Some Chances To Win.“

According To William Sexfear

Every Wife Is A Mistress For Her Husband.

Miss For One Hour

And
.
.
.
.
Stress For The Remaining 23 Hours.

A Couple Where Have A Huge Argument On Who Is Most Afraid To Be Home Alone.

They Went On Until They Decided To Ask There 5 Year Old Son To Tell Them Who Is More Afraid Mom Or Daddy?

Mom: “Son, Who Is More Scared To Be Home Alone Me Or Dad?”

Son: “Daddy Is More Scared.”

Mom: “Why Son?”

Son: “Because When You Working Night Shifts, Dad Ask The Lady From Next Door To Come And Sleep With Him On Bed.”

Mom Shocked: “And What They Do?”

Son: “They Play The Same Game You Always Play With Our Gardener On Bed During The Day When Daddy Is Away.

Funny But Most True Fact:

When Two Beggars Meet Or Two Software Engineers Meet,

They Ask Each Other The Same Question,

“So, Which Platform Are You Working On?“

Santa Went To Interview For FBI Agent.

Interviewer: “Who Killed Abraham Lincoln?”

Santa: “Thanks For Giving The Job Sir,
I Would Immediately Start Investigation.“

Three Friends Were Having A Drink In A Bar. A Conversation About Coincidences Arose.

The 1st Guy Said: “When My Wife Was Pregnant She Read The Novel The 2 Cities And Gave Birth To Twins.”

The 2nd Guy Said: “My Wife Read The 3 Musketeers And Gave Birth To Triplets.”

The 3rd Guy Started Running Heading Home, Friends Asked: “Why?”

He Said In Hurry: “My Wife Is Pregnant And I Left Her Reading Alibaba And The 40 Thieves.“

Come Like A Horse, Sit Like A Thief, And Go Like A King”
.
.
.
.
This Slogan Was Written On A “Toilet Door“

Those girls who slap their boyfriends
when they’re mad.
I need to date one of them,
so I can teach her a lesson.

*I’m selling medicine that causes
Landlords forget their RENT*.
*Inbox me for price*. *
Only serious customers are welcome*

If you want drama in your life, date a guy
who doesn’t drink alcohol