I hate it when people say morning instead of good morning, morning what? Morning glory, morning after pill morning sickness…what ?

A rat🐀 swallowed gold and the owner of the gold contracted a man to kill that rat🐀

When the rat hunter arrived to kill the rat, there were more than thousand rats bunched up and the one sitting by itself away from the park!!

He spotted and killed the one sitting by itself and to the owners suprise, it was the exact one that had swallowed the gold!!!
The amazed owner asked of the gold asked: ‘how did you know it was that rat??’
He replied very easy and very calm that ‘when idiots get rich they dont mix with others’

Just imagine How The Ladies Who Dumped BILL GATE
When He Was Upcoming Would Feel Now ..
Ladies Be Careful Not To Make Similar Mistake With Me

Instead of “Who is your daddy” i accidentally asked “How is your daddy”. We ended up putting our clothes back on and discussed her fathers Cholesterol problem

I Remember telling people who were in a Titanic that its going to sink and no one was interested in listening to me.
I screamed and said “get out now” and no one got off the ship. I screamed my lungs out and said “for the fucken last time, get out of that ship right now guys”.And That’s was the last time i warned the victims before i was thrown out of the cinema for good.

That Two Seconds Pain You Feel When
Bae Removes You As A DP🙆🚶

I Rather Walk For Seven Days Then Asking
Direction In Johannesburg

I was at shoprite then there’s this lady who was staring at me as if she had never seen someone drinking coke and putting it back in the fridge

If you get a girlfriend here on Facebook stick to the Inbox
do not take it to WhatsApp.

I repeat do not take it to WhatsApp.

At my funeral there will be no food, only tissues.
It’s simple, you came to cry my brother..

Today was my First Time I Smoked Weed,
I Saw Two Guys Wearing Matching Outfits.
I Asked Them If They Were Gay And They Arrested Me

Somewhere on Facebook,
there are two people who
fell in love,Dated, and
Broke up, before they
could even meet each
other

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says- I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp…without realising, I went into the neighbour’s house and sat on their sofa.

The lady of the house was glued to the TV… watching a series…She gave me tea without looking at me.

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady’s husband entering the house….looking into his mobile.

He saw me and said, “sorry” and went out of the house !!!

I want to Open a Mortuary!*

*_Guys promise me that you will die to support my business._*

Work hard until your messages cant be ignored even in family groups.
Even if you type (:! They will reply “How are you bro ” What did you say ?