When you close the door to kill a snake and
the electricity goes off my brother thats
when you wll know that nobody can stop reggae. ..
you will keep jumping like a rasta man.

i Just Met A Lady Who’s Name is “Nomshado” And i Am Asking Myself What Was Going Through Her Parents’s Minds When They Named Her

My Neighbour Was Very Sick And Then He Called A Witchdoctor To Come And Treat Him in His House .. The Witchdoctor Said His Case Was “Critical” And That “He Cannot Be Cured” , But The Sickness Can Be Transferred To Another Person .. My Neighbour Accepted … The Witchdoctor Worked On Him And Told Him That “As i Am Leaving , if Anyone Opens The Door You Must Say “Tchaa” , And That Person Will Die in Your Place .. The Witchdoctor Left , And My Neighbour Was Waiting For The First Unlucky Person So That He Will Say “Tchaa” And Transfer His Sickness To That Person .. But The Witchdoctor Discovered That He Hadn’t Collect His Money From My Neighbour For His Treatment , So He Decided To Go Back For His Money .. As Soon As He Opened The Door , My Neighbour Said “Tchaa” .. The Witchdoctor Said “Retchaa” , My Neighbour Then Said “Reretchaa” .. The Witchdoctor Said “Rereretchaa” 😂😂 … As i Speak With You Now , The Whole Neighbourhood is There Watching The Two Shouting “Rerererereretchaa” To Each Other non-stop

The Day I’ll Post A Pic Of Me And My Bae On “best Couple Around sa” , i Will Read All The Comments And I’ll Make Sure That i Roast Back Anyone Who Tries To Make Fun Of Me And My BOO

She cant cook, clean, iron or wash…the only thing she knows is to be on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 24/7…and she wants you to marry her.
My brother, her lobolla payment should be : 1gb data bundle, 10 likes and 5 comments

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, IPL 3.0, and PSL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command “! http: I Thought You Loved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember,overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend! Food 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support

If You Never Crushed On Your Cousins
Then Your Family is Ugly

When black coffee’s wife is angry
She closes the mayonnaise
Tightly

A Sotho man, a Zulu man and a Venda man were lost in a forest and then captured by cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step was to go deep into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Zulu man came back and said to the king, “I brought 10 apples.” Then the king explained the trial to him, “You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The sotho man arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy….1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Sotho man and Zulu man met in heaven and the Zulu man asked, “Why did you laugh? You almost got away with the trial.”
The Sotho man replied, “I couldn’t help it, when I saw the Venda man coming with Watermelons!”

Ladies sometimes you
should give your baby
daddy the sassa card
and let him spoil
himself for once in a
year

I hate it when I sing a song and
someone
correct me
.
What if I’m doing a remix?

The Day You Will Be Looking For A Job And Find The HR is Your Ex , is The Day You Will Know Why Mathematics Always Tells Us To Find The Value Of X !!

Do you still remember those awkward days in schools during Exams?
.
1. When a bright student tells the invigilator that question 4 has a problem, but you have already answered it…😳
.
2. When a fellow student asks for a graph paper, but you are finished and did not see anywhere where it was required…😧
.
3. When the invigilator says jump question 6 we will rectify it later, but it was the question you enjoyed most when answering…😟
.
4. When you see people busy using rulers and you are wondering what is going on…😣
.
5. When you hear your friends arguing after the exam whether the answer to question 5 was 35.5% or 36% and your answer was -264

We are black people❤

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care😂

-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud😂

-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that😂

-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care😂

-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that😂

-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k❤

-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange😂

-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care😂

-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that😂

-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird😂

-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem😂

-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care😂

-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious😂

-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that😂

-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird😂

-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that😂

-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart😂

-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish😒

✊ We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that ✊

#proudly_black

Share this😂😂😂dont laugh alone

If her name is Blessings,
there’s 90% possibility
she has more than 2 boyfriends and
if you ask her she’ll deny it!!

There are people on your friend list who look at your timeline all the time, but they don’t really like you; so they never comment or like anything you post. But they won’t unfriend you because they are too scared not to know what you are doing.🙊
•°•°•
The level of witchcraft in Africa will kill someone!!