My marriage is doing so well l’m thinking of
opening other branches nation wide.

When you chase women you lose money, but when you chase money you will never lose beautiful women. Be careful with your salary. This is a gentle reminder. December is the month where girls will be more polite than customer care😂
Be Wise and Smart, Guys

Yaw: Hi Kofi 👋
Kofi: Hello
Yaw: please did you see my message?
Kofi: Is it the one you said I should *borrow* you money?
Yaw: Yeah that one 🤓
Kofi: No I didn’t see it

I’ve just heard that my ex got hit by a truck😥 This is Sad indeed 😰😰 but i really hope nothing happened to the truck though. I’m really worried about it

Yesterday i took my bicycle nd went to the liquor store nd buy a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself “what if i fall off the bicycle? What will happen to my Bottle 😯😯” so i decided to drink all the whisky before i cycled home. it turned out to be a good decision because i fell seven times on the way home. Imagine what would’ve happened to the bottle.

You Would be Shocked if you found out the number of men
having relationship problems with your girlfriend!!

How come does 60 seconds equal 1 minute
60 minutes equal 1 hour
But 60 hours is not equal to 1 day

*If you hear what people say right before they
pick your call and or immediately they end the call…*
*You would stop the friendship*

Why pay R250 to see snakes ko di Zoo ?
–
–
when you can just attend a family gathering and see all kinds for free

A new school inspector is assigned to the
grade 4 class in one of
Thelocal schools. He is introduced to the
class by the teacher.
She says to the class: “Let’s show the
inspector just how clever youAreby allowing
him to ask you a question.”
The inspector decides to ask a biblical
question.He asks: “Class, who broke down
the walls of Jericho?”
For a full minute there is absolute silence.
The children all just stareat him blankly.
Eventually little Khuzwayo raises his hand.
The Inspectorpointsexcitedly to him.
Khuzwayo stands up and says: “Sir, I do not
know who broke down thewalls
of Jericho, but I am innocent.”
The inspector looks at the teacher for an
explanation. She says: “Well,
I’ve known Khuzwayo since the beginning
of the year and I believe that ifhe says that
he didn’t do it, then he didn’t do it.”
The inspector is shocked at the level of
ignorance and storms downtothe principal’s
office and tells him what happened. The
principalreplies: “Look I don’t know the boy,
but I socialise every now andthen
with his teacher and I believe her. If she
feels that the boy was notinvolved, then he
must be innocent.”
The inspector can’t believe what he is
hearing. He grabs the phoneon
the principal’s desk and dials the Minister of
Education. He relatesthe
entire episode and asks her what she thinks
of the educationstandard in
the school.
The Minister sighs heavily and replies:
“Eishwena. You know I amvery
busy. I don’t know the boy, the teacher or
the principal. Just getthree
quotes or put it out to tender and have the
wall fixed.”

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your real father a big hug.”

You’ll wonder if some people’s facebook doesn’t have reactions
no matter how funny something is they’ll never react

Just saw a white girl twerking.
Thought she was having a seizure

– There Are 5 Types Of Fear : 👇
.
1. Terror
2. Panic
3. We Need To Talk
4. 20 Missed Calls From Mom
5. Username Or Password is incorrect
.
What’s Missing ?

*WE ARE BLACK AND WE DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF US**
.

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care
-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that
-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care
-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that
-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k
-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange
-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care
-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that
-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem
-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that
-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird
-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that
-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart
-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish
We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that

I can’t speak with Indians with red dot 🔴 on their forehead.
I feel like they are recording everything I say