Being Single is a Sin even the word itself begin with “Sin”

I hate people who can’t handle alcohol.
Yesterday my friends dropped me three times while carrying me home

We don’t care if you came at Uj to do your Honours,
Masters or PHD oksalako you are a first year.

Vodacom be like:
Recharge with R250 airtime for three years every month to unlock your R3 advance

I will heart react to your pictures
even though you got a Boyfriend,
You know why?
•°•°•
I can fight..!

They Know They’re Ugly When They Post Pics And Add Captions Like:
👇👇👇
“My Smile Tho, My Nose Tho, My Eyes Tho, My Lips Tho, My Butts Tho”.

My guy!
Perfume is important,
but roll-on is importanter…
and taking a Bath is more importanting!!!

How to handle someone who is trying to sell you things you don’t need, on the telephone;
10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.” …..

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where their company is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about them for as long as necessary. Such as when did their company start, who was the founder, are they still with company?

8. Cry out in surprise, the name of the telemarker name such as “Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give “Judy” a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If they call trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home arrest” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

I just washed a “Polo” shirt I bought from China mall
this afternoon and
the man on the horse decided to stay in the water

Some of You will just wake up in the morning and
start pressing your phone without checking if you can even walk.

R.I.P to Jack Daniels ⚰
JACK DANIELS was found dead today by JOHNNY WALKER at
SAVANNAH Street near the CASTLE in RED SQUARE centre.
His wife HENNESY and their two sons HANSA & AMSTEL have been crying under an AMARULA tree ever since.
Mr HEINEKEN thinks he was killed by HUNTERS who shot him
with a STRONG BOW. His FOUR COUSINS confirmed he was coming from Club J&B in MELLOW WOOD on
4TH STREET.
It appears that he had an affair with Mr HUNTERS wife SARITA. She also feared for her life & moved to NEDERBURG.
CAPTAIN MORGAN is still investigating this case but evidence points that Mr. J.C Le ROUX is also a suspect.
The funeral will be held at KLIPDRIFT & performed by pastor FISH EAGLE as soon as the church BELLS ring tomorrow.
We hope JAMESON and his wife NAMAQUA will arrive on time. They have to fly over TWO OCEANS to get here…
Share This with All Our Alcoholic Friends For a laugh… Let the GUARANA’s begin!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Even if you’re not an Alcoholic, share it to make someone’s day..

2019 Will Probably The Last Year That Ends With
“Teen” For The Rest Of Our Lives

Guys we must abuse English the way
White people abuse our Language.
Is Hearing Me Now??

Most women want a man with a job, car and a house
but bona all they bring is another man’s child

A man came back from work at
night and heads straight to the
bedroom to make love to his
wife.
.
.
When done, he went straight to
the kitchen to fetch himself a
bottle of cold drink only to find
his wife there looking for
something in the fridge.
.
.
He asked his wife how she
quickly made it to the kitchen
when they’ve just finished
making love.
.
.
His wife shouted: “Haaaaa!!! That
was my twin sister in the
bedroom, she was so tired when
she arrived, I let her sleep in our
room” 😮😮😮
.
.
Alarmed, she ran to her twin
sister and asked her why she
didn’t say something when her
husband was making love to her.
.
.
Twin sister replied and said: “You
know your husband and I are
not in talking terms’. So I didn’t
want to be the one to talk to him
first!😏😏