Birthdays are good for your health
Studies show people who have more brithdays tend to live longer..

A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. Phiri, I am going
hunting tomorrow. I dont want to close the clinic. I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients. Yes, sir! answers phiri.

The doctor
goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: So, phiri, how was your day? Phiri told
him that he took care of three patients.The first one
had a headache so I gave him Panadol. Bravo, and
the second one? asks the doctor. The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Flagyl, sir.
says phiri Bravo, bravo! Youre good at this and
what about the third one? asks the doctor.

Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door
opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she
undressed herself,and lied down on the table. She
spread her legs and shouted: HELP ME! For five
years I have not seen any man!
Lord Jesus! Phiri, what did you do? asks the
doctor.
. .
PHIRI: I put eye-drops in her eyes, I think by now she’s able to see a man

Do u know that having a brain can cause brain cancer
Thank Goodness my friends and I we are safe
Shame…..

When we’re done with this month of July we’re going straight to September, we don’t want to see our December being delayed by these mad people of August.

Any one with a qualifications in Electrical Engineering
My valentine’s day card doesn’t make a sound anymore

Teacher : Patrick WHERE do you see yourself 12 years from now?
.
Patrick : I see myself as a successful business and a happily married man
.
Teacher : Good. Davies WHERE do you see yourself 10 Years from now?
.
Davies : I see myself as a successful professor and a father of two.
.
Teacher : Good. Now Matome WHERE do you see yourself 15 Years from now
.
Matome : (Thinking for a moment) Hmm I see myself as a successful man and a happily married SUGAR DADDY

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….
I sent R1000 to a wrong number using Mobile Money
After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/ her this text message:
“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership
welcome fee Of R1000 to our Satanism Church.
We are glad and looking forward to having you
with us.
That is just the beginning of the richest life you
are about to start living. We hope you are as
excited to be joining our church as we are. As I
just said, that is a
welcome salary.
We are having a meeting tonight whereby we
will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start
of this month. Please invite over any female
person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight
at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.
If you haven’t shown any interest in our church
and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send
the money back to this number otherwise
welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”
10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send
another R1000 my friend is also interested’.
I fainted, people are so broke these days..

Dating me and putting me on your d.p is not enough
I want to be your ringtone.

Gone are the days when we used to beg ladies,
these days we only ask once,
u refuse we go to your sister or best friend.

I laugh seriously wen I hear
pple say Mark zukerberg and Bill
gate dropped out of school and
still made it very Big in life…
Remember it was
university and nt primary school

There are 6 types of men in South African
1. Tsonga men
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife more .
2. Pedi men
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend more.
3. Xhosa Men
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love Alcohol most.
4. Venda Men
They have 1 wife and 2 girlfriends, but they love their daughters most.
5.Sotho Men
They have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends but they love their neighbors wives.(especially Ndebele Men)
And the best one. —
6. Zulu Men
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfriend. But they love their cattle most.

Imagine dating someone who doesn’t
know where Johnnie Walker is going.

Girl:Nice mobile,
Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race
Girl: Wow Awesome…How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME

That moment When you accept your neighbours friend request and then he/she posts ” borrow me a wheelbarrow ” on your timeline