Some girls the moment you tell her “I love you” She becomes phoneless, cashless,dataless, homeless and all kinds of lessness
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Girls who were born in 1990, I’m reminding you that next year you’ll be 30yrs. Continue with your stupid questions like
👇
“Who gave you my numbers 😕?”
It’s about 4 months left..
Continue 😕😕
I was in a taxi and there was this muscular and wierd looking guy sitting at the back seat… His phone rings and he answers “yes boss, I’m with him in the same taxi, When he gets off, I’ll shoot him”
Well, we are now at the taxi driver’s house because no one wants to get down.
So Nkunzi is dating Gabisile, whom he has a child with.
Gabisile who is Qhabanga’s ex wife.
Qhabanga who is dating Nkunzi’s ex wife
Nkunzi who is Qhabanga’s brother
Qhabanga who is Nosipho’s ex.
Nosipho who is MaNgcobo’s child
MaNgcobo who is Nkunzi’s ex wife
Yoh 👐 Uzalo’s writer is DRUNK XEM
I lost my weed now I see my lil brother tryna load airtime in his calculator
Ever looked at someone and be like damn…You really a liar
When you meet her friends and
you realize you got the ugly one
A Journalist to a Doctor of a Mental Hospital:
journalist: “How do you determine whether to admit a patient or not?”
Doctor: “Well, we first fill a Bathtub with water till the top. Then give a Teaspoon, a Glass & a Bucket to the patient & ask him / her to empty the Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously a Normal Person would use a BUCKET because it’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No you Stupid, a Normal
Person would Pull the DRAIN PLUG!
Nurse, admit this Idiot in Ward No.8!
Girlfriend:Can I have your pic.
Me:Check my profile pic.
Girlfriend:There’s a car.
Me:Open the car u will see me sitting in the car.
No matter how young or old you may be, your future lays in your hands, every morning when you wake up, that’s reason itself to know how blessed you are, everyone isn’t that lucky, we all face unsolvable problems, who’s perfect right? enjoy your time here on earth, problems won’t go away but we will so STOP stressing on things that don’t have value in your life rather be a blessing in someone’s life & add value to that. Good morning have a blessed day. Jesus loves u. Life isn’t easy but with our Heavenly Father beside us we can conquer anything in his name
JOB INTERVIEW WITH NYAA
Interviewer : Tell us more about yourself…..
Nyaa: Aibo buka iC.v yami ndoda anginaso iskhathi sokuchaza..
Interviewer : What do you know about this company?
Nyaa: Angikazi for now and angazi muntu
ndoda awukahle uk’buza imibuzo engasile
awuqale lento engize ngayo la, soxoxa nawe sengingaphakathi.
Interviewer : Why are you interested on
working for this company?
Nyaa : Why niwukhangisile? I’m interested
because you advertised the position habe! nansi imihlola yami bo!
Interviewer : Why should i employ you and
not other candidates?
Nyaa : Angiphendulike leyonto, skip it, that irrelavent question,
yazi wena ungenza islima coz the decision is on you.
Interviewer : What are your strength and weaknesses?
Nyaa : Strength – I work hard
weaknesses – ngiphuma ealry njalo friday
ngeke ningitshele ushidi ke nalangisebenza
khona bayazi nginolaka kabi mase ngomile.
Inteviewer : Describe when you had
disagreement with your colleagues & what you will do?
Nyaa : Ngyashaya phela mina and
angibhedelwa mina i alwys hit my bosses,
ngyas’faka isbhakela endodeni mina!
Interviewer : Why do you want to leave your current job?
Nyaaa : Same as above asizile kuzodlala la.
Interviewer : Ok thanks very much Sir, dont
call us we will call you.
Nyaaa : Akobakuhleke coz ngiyakwazi la
ogibela khona ndoda angihlekike mase ngihamba nezami.
Interviewer : Buya uzoqala kusasa
One word for Nyaa?
MAN: Marry me?
WOMAN: Do you have a flat?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Do you have a Camry car?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: How much is your salary?
MAN: No salary, but I…
WOMAN: No but! You have nothing. How can I marry you? Leave please before I open eyes for you!
MAN: But I have one estate, 3 landed properties in GRA, 3 Ferraris, 2 Porsches and 2 G wagons. Why do I still need to buy a Camry? How can I be paid salary when actually I’m the BOSS?
WOMAN: That’s why I told you to leave, cause am coming to your house myself to propose to you.
Don’t settle for an unhealthy relationship. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Don’t waste time trying to change someone. Just because you’re capable of dealing with negativity, it doesn’t mean you should have to. It is not your responsibility to “fix” people. Instead, find somebody you like exactly as they are (flaws and annoying habits included)
I wonder who told black parents that boys make girls fail at school..!
Forcing Your partner to block someone💔 won’t change😳 the way they feel about them..!
You can’t play it safe your whole life and expect to reach your highest potential. You’ve got to be willing to take some risk..!