Before I get rich, if any relative wants to die, please die..
I don’t want to be accused of sacrificing anyone.
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Someone is out there living the life that I wanna live😥
Someone is out there fulfilling the dreams that I wanna achieve😪
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Stop forgiving your boyfriend, we also want you!!!
If u slap me on my right cheek,I’ll turn my left cheek 4 u 2 slap too
Then we’ll sit down as adults&discuss how u want ur funeral
*RULES OF FOOTBALL WHEN WE WERE KIDS*
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper…😀
2. The owner of the ball decided who played…
3. Penalty (otherwise called PENARITY!) was awarded
only if an injured player could curse or fight a lot…😀
4. The match only ended when everyone was tired…
5. No matter how many goals you scored, the winner
would be determined by the last team to score…
6. No referee and linesmen. You could run with the ball
even behind the goalpost…
7. If you didn’t participate in repairing a damaged ball you were given a match ban…
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser…
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree or bush when it got stuck, under the car or tunnel to play in the next game…
10. When the owner of the ball got annoyed, game
over…
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty…
12. The most skillful player got automatic selection…the most bully player got automatic selection too…….
13. No discrimination, both the children of rich and the poor played together!
14. Three corners make one Penarity!
15. All players help in household work of the ball owner.
16. If the ball burst everyone contribute to pay the owner.
17. You can’t dribble the owner too much. This may lead him to stop the game by taking away his ball.
18. You can go round the goalpost still return into the field and score.
19. When you hit your toes against a stone and notice blood, you quickly cover the area of injury with sands as a form of first aid. Play continue.
20. We called ourselves by nicknames of great players especially from Brazil and England.
21. Game over when it’s dark and we can barely see the ball. We all dispersed in groups to our homes teasing one another until d last player gets home to face another round of punishment from our disciplinarian parents 🤣😁😳🙄.
This generation is missing a lot of free fun. They pay dearly ( in monetary terms) for today’s fun.
South African guys they don’t say” it’s over”……
they just stop calling.
Imagine you receive an SMS stating ” It’s over ” Whilst drinking Beers with Your Brother In Law 🤣
.
What are you gonna do
I’m tired of begging everyone in this World I’ll start to live my own life from today
.
I’ll even Carry my own Coffin 🤨
A man brings his best friend home for dinner at 7.30pm after work. He hadn’t shared with his wife so she was very
upset.
His wife begins screaming at him in front of his friend; and his friend is sitting there
looking shocked.
Wife: “The dishes are not done, the house is a mess, there is no grocery and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home?”
Husband: “Because he is thinking of getting married and I promised him a live demonstration!”
There is a strong bond between “iPhone users” and “toilet mirrors”..!
When you’re Single you don’t even Care when your Battery🔋 is low..! ☝
LIFE IS ABOUT: Trusting your feelings, taking chances, finding happiness, learning from the past, and realizing everything changes.
I was eating and enjoying my coke when a man
entered the restaurant with a brief case. I
guess he is a politician because his dressing and
pot belly portrayed it. He walked and sat down
as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman
came to him and started crying. The woman
knelt down and told him that her children and
her mother want to die of hunger since her
husband died. This man opened thr briefcase
and gave the woman five hundred thousand
dollars. The woman jumped up and left the
scene in happiness.
I was still watching wen another man started
crying and came to him. He knelt down and
begged him that he needed money to establish a
business. This man wrote a ten million dollar
cheque and gave to the man.
This time, I started murmuring and practising
on the kind of lie I will put up to have my own
national cake. I started crying and came to the
man.
Immediately I knelt down, I heard..,
Cut!!
Cut!!
Cut!!.
I turned and saw a director. He laughed and
said..,😆 😆
ndoda sishuta imovie uyasphambanisa🙄.
haaaaaaa inhloni zangenzani🙈🙈
I was eating and enjoying my coke when a man
entered the restaurant with a brief case. I
guess he is a politician because his dressing and
pot belly portrayed it. He walked and sat down
as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman
came to him and started crying. The woman
knelt down and told him that her children and
her mother want to die of hunger since her
husband died. This man opened thr briefcase
and gave the woman five hundred thousand
dollars. The woman jumped up and left the
scene in happiness.
I was still watching wen another man started
crying and came to him. He knelt down and
begged him that he needed money to establish a
business. This man wrote a ten million dollar
cheque and gave to the man.
This time, I started murmuring and practising
on the kind of lie I will put up to have my own
national cake. I started crying and came to the
man.
Immediately I knelt down, I heard..,
Cut!!
Cut!!
Cut!!.
I turned and saw a director. He laughed and
said..,😆 😆
we are making film
U will think u know all colours until some people start sending u wedding invitation. That’s when you’ll see that your primary teacher simplified your syllabus.
U’ll see something like this:-
Acid Green on Fushia Purple or Titus Silva’ with a little touch of Ojuelegba Blue.
Bride’s family to wear Cockroach Brown with Custard Yellow.
Groom’s family: Combination of Jollof Yellow with Fufu White’ using Akara Gold as fila and gele
Friends: Coconut White with Moimoi yellow on Agama Lizard Head Red’ Other guests should wear Pomo Brown on Alligator Pepper Green with a touch of Onion Purple & Maggi Yellow.