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Ladies, you must stop wearing All Star takkies and a long dress. 😂 😂 😂.You can’t be “uMakoti & a Pantsula” at the same time.

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When I die, don’t come to my grave to tell me how much you love me and how much you miss me, because those are the words I want to hear while I’m still alive

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BEN’GSE POLICE STATION yakwaMASHU
.
AKEKHO NGEMPELA NJE U MONDLI
.
Ngibone nje uKompela ayovula iqala
What happened to Chiefs i rape’we yin coz ngizwe bakhuluma ngokdliwa ?

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Kanina sa tindahan bumili ako ng bigas, softdrinks at itlog. May kasabay akong chix na kakilala ko naman. Bumibili rin sya kaso kulang ng P5 yung pera nya. Sabi ko meron akong P5 nasa bulsa ko kukunin ko lang. Napansin nyang medyo nahihirapan akong kunin sa bulsa yung pera ko kasi dami kong bitbit, kaya sabi nya, “Hawakan ko muna itlog mo” Pwede nman yung bigas hawakan nya, bat yung itlog ko pa.

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BAKLA: hoy bat ka naghuhugas ng holy water?
GIRL: may kasalanan ang kamay ko nahawakan ko ari ng bf ko…
BAKLA: ganun ba…tabi ka jan
GIRL: bakit?
BAKLA: magmumumog ako.

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Any Woman cheating on her man this year,
may catch fire , break a leg, loose your
front teeth and be struck by lightning.
Any man cheating on his woman, May we
be forgiven and shown the light, for we do
not know what we do.

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So you caught your boyfriend sleeping
with another girl because you denied him
sex, and you have guts to say he’s
cheating?
My sister that’s very wicked and selfish!!
“If there’s no electricity, we use
generators”

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Do lesbian leave each other for someone
with a bigger tongue and long fingers as
well?

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Some girls don’t attend gym but they look
physically fit because of running from one
man to another.

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Whatsapp Conversation Between Me And
My Girlfriend
Her : Hi
Me : Hi, Babe
Her : Babe, I’m Worried
Her : I’ve Missed My Period
Her : I Think I’m Pregnant
Her : Are You There!?
Her : Babe, You Not Answering My Call
Her : pollen !!!
Her : Stop Ignoring Me, Speak
“2 Minutes Later”
Me : Please, The Owner Of This Phone Just
Died In An Accident, This Is Mr Rainbow..
Her : Don’t Go There At All.. This Is Your
Handwriting..
Me : No It’s Not Me, I’m Really Dead

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I brought my village girlfriend flowers then after an hour, my phone rang when I answered my girlfriend said “Baby this spinach that you brought, tastes funny.”
One word for her…

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Girl: I can do anything 4 u.
Boy: Will you die for me?
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Will you delete ur Facebook account 4 me?
Girl: Go home Bro, Ur mother might be getting worried.

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Whether I have a house or not if I’m dating a girl with a house,
I become the man of that house and she has to listen to me,
if not she must get out of my house

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Today I stopped a taxi and greet the passengers and driver,
then Walked away, they hurled me insults..
.Is it wrong to greet people

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Somewhere in SA, a young girl is
telling your father “Grow up dude”

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You can’t be a Nurse and be ugly at the same time 😕
I mean We can’t be afraid of needles and you !!!

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