My girlfriend left a note on my refrigerator saying
“This isn’t working,goodbye” I opened the fridge
and it’s working just fine.
Women know nothing about fridges.
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As long as i work at the mortuary
No girl will be burried as a virgin..
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Bob Walked Into A Bar Around 9:58 Pm
He Sat Down Next To A Blonde At The Bar And Stared Up At The Tv Just As The 10:00 Pm News Was Coming On.
The News Crew Was Covering A Story About A Man Preparing To Jump Off The Ledge Of A Building.
The Blonde Looked At Bob And Said: “Do You Think He’ll Jump?”
Bob To The Blonde: “You Know, I Bet He’ll Jump.”
The Blonde: “Well, I Bet He Won’t.”
Bob Placed 20 Bucks On The Table And Said: “You’re On!”
The Blonde Also Placed Her Money On The Bar, Suddenly The Guy On The Ledge Did A Swan Dive Off The Building, Falling To His Death.
The Blonde Was Very Upset, But Willingly Handed Her 20 Bucks To Bob Saying: “Fair’s Fair, Here’s Your Money.”
Bob: ” Look Ma’am I Can’t Take Your Money. I Saw This Earlier On The 5 Pm News So I Already Knew He Would Jump.”
The Blonde: “I Saw It Too, But I Never Thought He’d Do It Again.”
Bob Took The Money.
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Hindi porket lumilingon ako nangongopya na?
di ba pwedeng naninigurado lang?
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Ang Alamat ng Saging
Noong unang panahon may isang babaeng nag ngangalang Berna.
Napadaan at nakakita siya ng prutas na hindi pa nadidiskubre,
tinikman nya ito at simula sa araw na iyon tinawag na niya itong santol.
The End.
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May robot na malupet manghuli ng mga magnanakaw. Tinest ito sa limang bansa. Japan, china, amerika, qatar, at Philippines.
Inuna ang japan. Nakahuli ng 20 na magnanakaw ang robot sa loob ng 1 oras.
Pagkatapos dinala ito sa china. Sa loob ng 1 at kalahating oras nakahuli ito ng 13 magnanakaw.
Sunod ang amerika. Nakahuli ang robot ng 36 na magnanakaw sa loob ng 3 oras.
Sunod ang qatar. Nakahuli ito ng 10 magnanakaw within 1 hour.
At pang huli Philippines. Pag dating ng robot sa pinas wala pang isang oras ninakaw yung robot!
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Dota Boy Na Basted
Dota Boy: Wala kabang gusto sakin?
Girl: wala.
DotaBoy: ouch. (Napaiyak ang boy)
FIRST BLOOD!
Girl: Oh bakit ka umiyak?
Dota Boy: wala ka kasi gusto sakin eh.
Girl: Hindi mo naman kasi natanung kung mahal kita.
Dota Boy: mahal mo ba ako?
Girl: Hindi rin.
DOUBLE KILL!
Dota Boy: wala naba akong pagasa?
Girl: wala
KILLING SPREE!
Dota Boy: Ang sakit mo naman mag salita.
Girl: My boyfriend na kasi ako.
DOMINATING!
Dota Boy: Sinu ba boyfriend mo?
Girl: Bestfriend mo.
M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL
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May isang computer technician at Hirap makahanap ng trabaho Kaya ang Ginawa nya nagtayo sya ng clinic at may nakalagay na karatula ” CHECK UP 500 ANG HINDI GAGALING BIBIGYAN KO NG 1K”..
isang araw may napadaan na doctor at nabasa nya Yun.. Sabi nya Ayos to easy money Kaya ang Ginawa nya nag pacheck up sya…
Doctor : dok magpa check up ako..
Computer technician : Ano ho ang nararamdaman nyo sir?
Doctor : nawala ung panlasa ko..
Computer technician : no problem sir may gamot tyo Jan… Inday pakikuha nga Yong Maliit na bote at pakipatakan ng tatlong beses ang dila ni sir.. (nang matapos mapatakan ni inday)
Doctor : gasolina to Ah.
Computer technician : congratulation bumalik na ang panlasa nyo.. 500 lng ang bayad..
(napailing – iling nlng lumabas ang Doctor sabay sabi sa sarili ” Naisahan ako doon ah”.. Babawi ako..)
Pagkalipas ng isang linggo bumalik nga ang Doctor..
Doctor : dok magpa check up ako.
Computer technician : Ano ho ang nararamdaman nyo sir?
Doctor : nawala Yong alaala ko.
Computer technician : may gamot tyo Jan sir sandali lng… Inday kunin mo nga Yong Maliit na bote at pakipatakan ang dila ni sir..
Doctor : Teka lng, yan pa rin Yong gasolina noong nakaraang linggo ah..
Computer technician : congratulation bumalik na ang alaala nyo, 500 lng ang bayad..
Buset sabi ng Doctor Sabay alis.. Galit at kinabukasan bumalik agad sya para babawiin nya ulit Yong pera nya..
Doctor : dok pacheck up ako.
Computer technician : Ano ho ang nararamdam nyo sir?
Doctor : malabo na Yong paningin ko dok.
Computer technician : pasensya na sir Wala ho tayong gamot para Jan heto ang 1k.
Doctor : ei 500 lng to Ah.
Computer technician : congratulation bumalik na ang linaw ng Mata nyo, 500 lng ang bayad.
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I HAVE A FRIEND CALLED “JAY”☺☝
BUT IN SHORT I CALL HIM “J”
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Him: bbe vuka ngikukhaphe
Her: no relax love bengishilo ekhaya ngath zobuya month end 😂
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I need a girlfriend
who works at the radio station📻
even when she says”Love I’m at work”
I just turn on the radio,just to be sure
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Couples are Busy chasing Money Together ,
meanwhile wena And Your Gorilla Are still Arguing
Who should Text First,,, Hayyyiii Tsek
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If you video call me without my permission,
otla bolela le ceiling.
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Aanhin pa ang edukasyon?
Kung ang inspirasyon nasa kabilang section!
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ang cute ng mga babaeng ang kapal maglipstick
kulang na lang magwig sila tapos
magsuot ng malalaking sapatos
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MGA KANSER NG NEWSFEED.
KAHAPON:Nba game
NGAYON:tawag ng tanghalan
LUNES:first day of school
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