While smoking at work yesterday, a guy in a wheelchair asked: “Why you smoking when you don’t need to?”

I asked him: “Why you wearing shoes?”

A TOUCHING story!!!😭😭*

One day a little boy closed from school. On his way home he saw a cat lying by the street side as though it was dead. To satisfy his curiosity, the boy came close and touched the cat to see if it was dead or hurt. He touched the first time and there was no response. He then touched the cat again. He continued touching, touching and touching. Like I said earlier, this is a TOUCHING story.

Thank you for reading it…
You can now go back to what you were doing….

Her: “How much do you love me?”
Me: “Look up at the stars above, that’s how much I love you!”❤
Her: “But it’s afternoon, there are no stars?”😕
Me: “Exactly!”

Sometimes I fail to approach some girls because of their facial expression.
Some look like they’ve Already broken up with you

You haven’t moved on if you still remember your EX name.
Thank God I don’t remember Cynthia.

Once you tell south Africa lady
Tht u love her
You already owe her money

MTN is not joking nowadays. When you don’t have airtime or data,
they’ll deduct your battery.

A British doctor says:

“In Britain,
medicine is so advanced
that
we cut off a man’s liver,
put it in
another man,
and in 6 weeks,
he is looking for a job.”..!!!

The German doctor says:

“That’s nothing,
in Germany
we took part of a brain,
put it in another man,
and in 4 weeks
he is looking for a job.”..!!!

The Russian doctor says:

“Gentlemen,
we took half a heart from a man,
put it
in another’s chest,
and in 2 weeks
he is looking
for a job.”..!!!

The Zimbabwean doctor laughs:

“You are all behind us.
A few mnths ago,
we took a man
with no brain,
no heart,
and no liver
and made him
President.

Now,
the whole country is looking
for jobs!!!”

This morning, one cute girl was just staring at me, I was blushing 😊….. Until she came closer and said “Come,,,,, u look like one groundnut seller that ran away with my change”……….

I fainted

After eating at your friend’s place….🍛
How long do you have to stay before you leave
so it doesn’t look like you were only there for the food??

If you want to bleach, bleach with sense, don’t come and be looking like traffic light.
Yellow face, Green veins and Red neck

Olu is a house boy who drinks his boss’ wine and then adds water for cover up.​ ​His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties ( A french wine that change colour if water added)​.

​As usual, olu drank the pasties and topped it up with water. ​Unfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and notice the colour change, he told his wife about it.​ ​

Olu knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the kitchen.
​
​The boss shouted, “olu!!!”
​
​olu answered..”Yes, Sir!”
​
​Boss.. “Who drank the pasties?”​
​olu didn’t respond.

​The boss ask again, still no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him.​ “Are you insane or what? When I called you, you said ‘Yes Sir’, but when I asked you a question, you didn’t answer me!

​Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don’t hear anything except your name,”​ olu answered.

“Let’s try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question,”​ The Boss suggested.

Olu shouted, “Boss!”​

​Boss answered, “Yes!”
​
​olu asked, “Who goes into the maid’s bedroom when madam isn’t around?”
​
​Boss didn’t answer​.

​Olu asked again, the Boss kept quiet.
​
​The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, “Wonders shall never end!!!

Olu it’s true. When one’s in the kitchen, one doesn’t hear anything except ones name”​.

​The wife interrupted, “That’s not true. It’s a lie”.​

​Without argument olu ask if she’d like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.
​
​olu called, “Madam!

​Madam answered, “Yes!”
​
​Olu asked, “Who is Junior’s biological father? Me or boss?”​

​Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, “This kitchen needs to be checked, I can’t hear anything!”​:

😂😂😂😂😂😂😀😀😀 Don’t laugh alone. Share with others, spread the joke​.

When someone asks why you continue to chat with your ex,
ask them if they have never used past exam papers for revision*?