On judgement day I’ll be wearing a Zimbabwean flag to notify jesus that i cant go to hell twice

When you’re on a call with your girlfriend and sje forgets to hang up and you hear her saying thats my step father

🐼 I feel sorry for ladies dating DJs🎼🎧🎤📀🎵🎶
When the party is over, you have to remain and help with speakers and cables

If a woman get angry because you came
back late @ night ,she’s right cz it’s danger
out there
.
Please Gents respect them and come back
In the Morning

My neighbour’s son just gave me a grade 1
maths to solve.
.
Please pray for me because I’m about to
disgrace myself..

If you ask a girl “How are you?”& she replies
“I am not fine” don’t ask her why?
Its a trap! Just tell her “May God be with you

I tried to drown my troubles the other night
but the wife doesn’t like swimming.

A Girl Returns Home After 5 Yrs.

FATHER: (Angry) Where the hell have you been all these years?!
GIRL: I was working as a Prostitute in California
FATHER: What!!! Get out of my house you Whore! I don’t want to see u or your face again do you understand?!
GIRL: (Crying) Before I go dad, I came to give you $2.5million cheque, and here is 1 million for my brother. I have bought a big house in Los-angels for you with everything in it including a Benz & a Hummer.
Bye dad.
FATHER: What kind of work did you say you were doing?
GIRL: (Crying out loud) A prostitute dad!
FATHER: Come and give daddy a hug, I thought you said you were a ‘PROSECUTOR

When She’s Explaining How Her Man Played Her,,
And You Gotta Act Surprise Like Aint Gonna Do The Same

Private school: Good morning class
Learners: Good Morning Teacher

Government school: Good Morning Class
Learners: Goooooooood Mooooorniiiing Teeeeaaacheeeeer

Women don’t want us looking in their handbags because
that’s where they keep the secret to winning arguments.

*Dating a girl with a big head isn’t a problem. The problem is, when she wants to lie on your chest, you will feel as if you are carrying the entire country’s problems*

My Boss Is Indeed A Good Person, When He Buys A New TV He Gives Me The Old One, He Buy New Radio He Gives Me The Old, He Buy New Shoes He Gives Me The Old, He Buys A Cell Phone He Gives Me The Old One, Yesterday He Just Got Married To A New Wife I’m Still Waiting Baba🙇

I repeat baba I’m waiting, I’m waiting baba

No matter how tall u r my brother u cn nvr c tomorrow so b patient
N no matter how strong u r u can nvr carry ur self to ur grave