Have you ever typed a message and thought
“No this English is too Strong for this person And
had to simplify it”..

He came home from work, tired. He sat down on the sofa and put his feet up. His wife brought him a glass of water. His son gave him a sheet of paper and he read through:

English 17%
Biology 25%
Mathematics 20%
Physics 17%
Chemistry 22%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 39%
Geography 22%

Suddenly, he lost his temper and started shouting: “What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?”

His wife said: “Be patient. Listen….” But he interjected,”Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!”

His Wife said: “Oh,really?”
He shouted: “No one in our family has performed so badly,ever!”

The son said: “Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”

The man became humbled and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on his face,he replied, “Son,you don’t know. Those days food was scarce.” 🤦🏽‍♀
😁😁😂😂🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

*MORAL OF THE STORY*
James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

She didn’t Just cheat, she also showed him my id picture
and they laughed at me

When you treat your bae right, Then God decides to
bless you with another bae.💆�
•°•°•
Amen!

The year 2019 is almost over and yet you, just there, still single. Waking up alone, eating alone, watching movies alone. And in all, you are forever alone..! ☝

LET ME REPEAT 🔂 THIS ONE 😂
👇
An African 🇿🇦 teacher was sent to China to
teach. The first day he entered class, he began by roll-calling.
•
He said “Sheng.” A student said: ”Present.”
•
He called the second name, “Chu muon”
Another student said ”Present.”
•
Suddenly, he sneezed, ”Hatchia” One student seated at the corner stood up
and said, ”Present Sir.”
•
He then exclaimed and said: ”Hmmmm..🤔.”
All the students shouted ”Absent.”
•
He got confused 😮 and said,”Chai…”
Three students stood up and said:
”Which one of us?”
•
The teacher became more confused and he asked: ”What is wrong?” A student stood up and said: ”Sir, i’m not wrong, i’m called Wong.”
•
The teacher now laughed, ”Hahahaha 😃😃”..

A girl said ”Present sir.”🙋
.
The Teacher Collapsed

I need some advice guys.
.
Recently my gf has been
receiving too many calls during very odd hours of
the night. She has also been coming home very
late saying that she was at a team building
meeting at work..
I called her boss and he said
they’ve not had any such meeting for the past
month. so yesterday when she said she was
going for a team building meeting i followed her
on my motorbike 🏍 after two blocks a guy stopped
his car hugged her and opened his car door for
her 💑🚗.
.
I was watching all that from a distance so
they wouldn’t see me.when they finally drove off i
tried to start my bike to follow them but it
couldn’t start. 😢
.
*What could the problem be guys.
The clutch ? Engine? Petrol? Plug? I’m so worried
about my bike

Bare You are not African enough if you never wished
your school to be burnt down..

If you are single, join us, gather here and let’s cry…
Someone might like you and pick you…

Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

*Dating a Married Man is not the problem until*
*you see your name saved as engine oil.*

Touching Your Pockets And Not Feeling Your Phone 😨😱
Shocks More Than Electricity

Imagine after your wedding👰💍
Cameraman say he forget to press record button 🙈🙈🙈😂😂
What will you do

“I was just checking on you….”
Means, “I love you” you fool, wake up!!!

You having a nice laugh with a nurse in a
taxi then all of sudden she says “HIV needs
you to be like this, you need to laugh with
people”