My Boss Asked Me To Start The Presentation With A Joke

I Attached My Payslip On The First Slide

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

A Small Boy Is Sent To Bed By His Father…

Five Minutes Later

Son : ” Da_ad !!!”
Dad: ” what ?!”
Son: ” I’m Thirsty, can you bring me a drink of water ?”
Dad: ” (Out Of Anger) No you had your chance . Now Lights Out”

Five minutes later

Son:” Da-aaaad ”
Dad:” What ? What ?
Son:” I’m Thirsty… can I have a drink of Water ?”
Dad:”(Really pissed off ) I Told you No !! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you !”

Five Minutes Later

Son:” Daaad …”
Dad:” What ? ”
Son:” When You Come In To Spank Me , Can You bring me a drink of water ?

i dont beg anymore…
Im even gonna Cook food at my funeral Myself

My girlfriend caught me cheating
Should I forgive her?👀

When a man says “I miss you!”
its either he’s horny or guilty of something
Otherwise we don’t “miss”

Boys listen, before you date a girl from now, u have to ask her the month in which she was born
,
Guys how can u started dating today n tomorrow b her birthday

Continue saying all men are players until you marry their coach!

When i Visit A Doctor 😌 ,
i Will Give Him My Phone To Guess My Password 😒 ..
if He Gets it Right 😊 Then We Can Start Discussing My Problems 😇✌

I’m Very Serious These Days

Girl:Hallo,why are you smoking?

Boy:I smoke because I want to

Girl:You waste your life and money.See that BMW over there if you didn’t smoke you could have bought it

Boy:Do you smoke?

Girl:No

…Boy:And do you have a BMW?

Girl:No

Boy:Well I smoke,and by the way that BMW over there is mine..

ATM’s should have timer
when you take long it must swallow your useless card
and spray you with tear gas

Dating your neighbour is nonsense, you be receiving texts like
“bbe is everything okay i saw you coming from toilet”

Married women should stop posting beautiful pictures of themselves,
why advertise goods that are no longer in stock?

I swear every time I spell Wednesday there’s a little voice in my head
that says Wed-nes-day

Mara I have never seen a groom or a bride..
Going to the toilet during their wedding day ,
,are they wearing pampers